The haunting of the INSANE DEVIL!!

2009-02-13T17:20:00.001+05:30

Happy Friday, the 13th.

2009-02-13T17:11:00.002+05:30

Living a nobody's life is really not all that exciting. It pains to see how quick people lose hope on you.

It was not always like this. I was somebody sometime. But then now.. hmm.. Am i living in my past glories?? Probably. But then, it is not like i chose to. Thats the only place i get my energy and motivation from. Looking back at who i was shows what i can be. Is it bad? I dont know.

"I dont know". A phrase that is by default imbibed in most of my sentences. How come i have suddenly become all that confused in life. I have no goal, no path, no motivation and no energy. I am currently living a zombie's life. I just have to restart. Just that i dont know from where.

I am not sure how long this is gona last but the dip has been made. I guess this is where i realise how low can i fall. I have already passed my previous rock bottom. I hope to find the rock bottom soon so that i can rise from there.

But then, wishful thinking gets you no where. How i wish it could. Its getting really hard to hang in here. Its frustrating. Its Draining. I guess this is the side effect of choosing a path that is less travelled. I don't have things laid in front of me... nor do i expect it that way. But, its just getting so hard to sustain the energy.

Hang in there. No pain. Keep the spirit going. Accepting defeat is not an option. Failing does not exist.

As I looked at her…

2008-09-04T12:02:00.001+05:30

As I pass through the memory lane and the wheel of time stops on the first day college, there are a few memories that stand out. The first look at hostel, the feeling that you are as free as a bird... dying down, the fear of how you will be able to survive for four years in this place, the first meet with friends (who later on became gang members… who still stick around with me!), the orientation, the first food at canteen (and you almost throw up), the bland hostel food, everybody talking in Tamil and none in English (for a person who is used to talking in Tamil ONLY with his parents and English/ Hindi rest of the time.. that was a BIG shock), thinking again whether you have made the right choice by leaving your comfort zone and coming here but then decide not to tell this to your dad cause you chose it and want to stick by the decision (read as EGO clash!).

There are few things that when looked back doesn't even matter now. It seemed so funny when I wrote the above paragraph as things changed a LOT in 4 years at THIGARAJAR COLLEGE OF ENGINEERING, MADURAI. But then, there are a few things that flash through your mind… you remember how it was initially and what you expected it to be, and now when you see how it is… you have that silent smile on your face.

One of such things happened at the ORIENTATION on day 1 of my college. I don't remember much of the incident. I am sure someone would have spoke of the college… we had a tour of the college, etc. But there are some things that I clearly remember. It happened during my tour of college. Just when I was thinking of how crappy the place is and how the hell would I manage to survive for 4 long years in this god forsaken land which people outside Tamil Nadu have hardly heard about, there she was… In a traditional black salwar. I have no idea why I saw her, but I guess she stood out of the crowd. White as milk (with extra talc-powder! Extra-extra I guess), dangling earrings, cautiously listening to every single word that came out of a prof. who was blabbering (learnt later that she was from IIT, M teaching in physics department). I kinda got scared looking at her initially, looked highly padauk as if they we were going to write a pop quiz about the orientation, but most importantly, she made me realise that I had not heard a thing. Well, I almost believed that there might be a pop up quiz in the end and the topper gets his degree certificate instantly. But then, being just me, I did not bother about the orientation but surprisingly this female stole my attention. Well, after all, she kinda smashed the feeling I had that there CANNOT be gorgeous Tamil females, least of all in Madurai. She made me believe that if there was one like her per batch, there might be more fishes in the ocean (a fact that got squashed, smashed, vaporised as time went by). As I was looking at her, apart from other things, time flew by and we ended the trip. After which I NEVER saw her. I knew it was too good to be true and I can NEVER meet her again.

I NEVER knew NEVER would be so short. I saw her soon enough in college, a couple of classes beside mine. But, by then, I learnt that the best way to survive at madurai is to keep your mouth shut as English is considered SIN, Hindi is considered out caste and broken Tamil (well.. cracked.. crushed.. Tamil) like mine would be like begging people to make fun of me (sad that this fact remains true till today... no matter how much you improve... you are still remembered how you were when you initially came). So, the usually boy move (very different from other boys in mdu) to ignore the person (nothing like beating their ego!) and walk as if she never existed. Hmm... Little that people knew this was a desperate attempt not be made fun at in front of her.

Fast forward (wish there was something like that in real life…) Universe conspired... and due to various... NUMEROUS... truly memorable events... we met up again and started speaking. I don't know if it was because of courtesy or true affection, I was invited to her birthday party. Well, I so really wanted to be there… but then… I had to leave a day before for HOME. Tough decision… but I guess what I did was right. I REALLY wanted to go home. A lot of things happened when I was not there… but then… that's for later!

Well… for the good I guess... we ended up in a gang called SWASHBUCKLERS (the gang was the best thing that happened to me in my 4 years stay in Madurai). And I DID get a chance to go to her house (well… right now I must say… the first of god knows how many!) and not just that… we were invited for lunch! Food is something that stimulates me any day. But little did I know what that trip held in store for me. I realised from where she got that genes of being amazing. I met her mom. Man… I MUST say… as I keep repeating to anyone I meet… she is truly amazing. I cannot expect someone who would willingly invite a big bunch of hostellers for lunch. I am not sure if she knew what she was into but then too late to back out. I don't know about the rest… but I ate... ate... and ate like there was no tomorrow and then chilled out for the rest of the evening.

A little more into the future, these trips became more often (it's not easy to keep eating hostel food), we gelled better as a group and she always stood out. She had an identity of her own. A charmer, good at studies, ethnic, and almost everything that you can expect from a girl. As I look back now, I don't know what would have happened if she was not there. As time flew by, we became closer and I respected her for what she was. I can remember numerous events where we had a nice and memorable time.

5 years with this girl, laughs, fights, arguments, cheap talk, crappy jokes, first time I PROVED I could cut onions, embarrassment (I called her a deaf girl instead of a white girl... in Tamil), a little bit of sorrows, and lots of lovely memorable times we shared together. If I were to make a pie with these as the ingredients, I am sure that would make my taste buds go gaa gaa goo goo.

And now when I was looking at her, with that silent smile on my face, she was taking a big step in her life, with all these memories flashing by in front of my face, I really can not express the happiness I felt. I don't know why but to see her smile to glory, the sparkle in her eyes and the tears of joy silently dripping from her eyes after the event made the entire occasion even more satisfying. And to be there with ALL the swashbucklers standing next to me as we stole a silent look from each other… I am sure we all were happy for her.

I just hope our relation does not end over here… and you would still stand by us and be part of the Swashbucklers in spite of how cruel, demanding life becomes and keep up for all that we thought we were, the swashbuckling spirit. It has always been a pleasure to be with you and shall always be.

Wish you a Happy Married Life… Mrs. Nisha Vinoth.

August 28^th, 2008

TENNIS

2008-06-09T23:37:00.001+05:30

A game of balls and racket that amused me ever since I was a kid. What I can't believe it has taken me so long to realise that I can actually start learning it. It took one long distance call, gyan session from Krish and some practical LIFE realisation that made me move my lazy ass. A simple conversation…

K: Dude… you need to play some sport. I make sure I hit the nets every Saturday to flex my shoulders and play cricket.

D: I know. I want to play some sport too. I just don't know what to play.

K: What do you like playing?

D: I always wanted to play tennis.

K: Then WHY are you not playing?

D: Cause appa never bought me a racket.

K: DUDE… you are freaking EARNING... cant you buy one for yourself now? Why should appa buy you one? Get one yourself!!!

D: Actually ya… I think I will go get one.

Next stop, INDIRAPARK. Got hold of the coach and asked him what I should do to learn tennis. Do you have the moolah?? It is amazing what a nod of head can do. The coach asked me to come the next morning and said he would arrange for the racket and all.

It was a feeling that you just cannot describe. It is to know that you will be doing something you always wanted to do as a kid. Man… it was extremely satisfying.

And that's how; yours truly is now knocking a few balls around the court yard now. It took some time to realise that this is not cricket. There are no sixers in tennis. It's been a week since I joined (Bunked 3 classes already… it's really hard to get up at 6 when you are used to start sleeping at that time) and I am managing to keep the ball inside the court. Well, that is not easy when you have spent 22 years trying to hit the ball out of the stadium and suddenly you need to bounce it inside the court.

After a long time…

2008-06-09T23:02:00.001+05:30

It has been a long time since I wrote here. Hmm… time zaps by so fast. Things change so fast that you just cant keep track of it.

So many times it happens too fast; you change your passion for glory,

Don't loose the grip on the dreams of the past,

You must FIGHT just to keep them alive…

Couple of bike trips, longest solo bike trip, Personal life taking a U turn, Professional life going where it is not intended to go, complications increasing exponentially. But, what is amazing is that life just moves on…

…. And the hits just keep on coming

I am at a point in life …again… where I have no clue of what I am doing and what is supposed to be done. Every thing looks so fuzzy and the fog is just not ready to clear. Probably, I am too lazy to put on the fog lights to guide my path.

I know not how things happened,

I know not why things happened,

I know not what is in-store,

I know not what might happen,

All I know is I am still the way I am,

And no matter how much LIFE pounds me down,

I shall still get up and ask IS THAT ALL!!

Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay...

2008-03-20T02:56:00.000+05:30

A story that got me thinking.

Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay......

Tree
People call me "Tree".
I had dated 5 girls when I was in Pre-U. There is one girl who I love a lot but never dared to go after. She didn't have a pretty face, good figure or an outstanding charm. She was just a very ordinary girl. I liked her. I really liked her. I liked her innocence, her frankness, her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her was that I felt somebody so ordinary like her was not a good match for me. I was also afraid that after we were together all the feelings would vanish. I was also afraid other's gossip would hurt her.
I felt that if she were my girl, she'd be mine ultimately & I didn't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompanying me for 3 years. She watched me chase other girls, and I have made her heart cry for 3 years. She was a good actor, and me a demanding director. When I kissed my second girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smiled & said, "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut. I did not want to know what caused her to cry. Later that day, I returned from soccer training to get something & watched her cry in the classroom for an hour or so. My fourth girlfriend did not like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she is not the type that will start the quarrel. However, I still sided my girlfriend. I shouted at her & ignored her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she was laughing & joking with me like nothing happened. I know she was hurt but she did not know deep down inside I was hurt too.
When I broke up with my fifth girlfriend, I asked her out. Later that day, I told her I had something to tell her. I told her about my break up. Coincidentally, she has something to tell me too, about her getting together. I knew who the person was. His pursuit for her had been the talk of the School. I did not show her my heartache, just smiles & best wishes. Once I reached home, I could not breathe. Tears rolled & I broke down. How many times have I seen her cry for the man who did not acknowledge her presence?
During graduation, I read a SMS in my hp. It said, "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"

Leaf
People call me Leaf.
During the 3 years of Pre-U, I was on very close terms with a guy as buddy kind. However, when he had his first girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 months. When they broke up, I hid my happiness. But after a month, he got together with another girl.
I liked him & I know he liked me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he loves me why he didn't he make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. After some time, I began to suspect that this was one-sided love. If he didn't like me, why did he treat me so well? It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. I know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a girl, to ask him. Despite that, I still wanted to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, and love him. Hoping that one day, he will come to love me. Because of this, I waited for him. Sometimes, I wondered if I should continue waiting. The pain, the dilemma accompanied me for 3 years.
At the end of my 3rd year, a junior pursues me. Everyday he pursues me. He's like the cool & gentle wind, trying to blow off a leaf from a tree. In the end, I realized that I wanted to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know the wind will bring the leaf to a better land. Finally, leaf left the tree, but the tree only smiled & didn't ask me to stay.
Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or cause Tree didn't ask her to stay.

Wind
Because I like a girl called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree, so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 month after I was transferred to this new school. I saw a petite person look ing at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends, looking at him. When he talks with girls, there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like, she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something missing. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accepts the note. The next day, she appeared & passes me a note and left.
It read, "Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away."
"It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree." I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 months, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know, she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope.
Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked, "What are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I could n't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her doorbell. During the moment when she opens the door, I hugged her tightly.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay...

Moral
In love, we win very rarely, but when love is true, even if you lose, you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone more than you love yourself. There comes a time when we stop loving someone, not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that, they'd be happier if we let go....
Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry? When we imagine? When we kiss? This is because THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN THE WORLD ARE UNSEEN.
There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world. It's the beginning of a new life. Happiness lies for those who cry those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched our lives.
A great love? It's when you shed tears and still you care for them, it's when they ignore you and still you long for them. It's when they begin to love another and yet you smile and say, "I'm happy for you." If love fails, set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly again. Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you never have to die with it.
The strongest people are not those who always win but those who stand back up when they fall. Somehow, along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize that there should never be regrets, only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've made. Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive, not how you listen but how you understand, not what you see but how you feel, and not how you let go but how you hold on.
It's more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than outwardly. Outward tears can be wiped away while secret tears scar forever...
It's best to wait for the one you want than settle for one that's available.

It's best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just someone.

2008-03-03T01:19:00.002+05:30

I was watching a cricket match after a long time. A lazy Sunday afternoon, with nice home made "pappu" and some pulpy orange drink made the environment apt for a game of cricket.

As i watched Sachin blast his way through the Australian bowling, i went back down the memory lane remembering my days at college. I was so damn sure that the scene at our rec room in hostel would surely be more energetic than the one in my house right now.

Well, is change taking over? From electrifying cricket sessions to lazy sunday afternoon session? I am not really sure. I remember watching the 20-20 semi finals in Bangalore at a friends place. We did have a lovely time screaming and shouting and discussing tactics as we always used to do back at college.

Change of environment does play a role. Never watch a cricket match alone. Its always helpful to watch the match with couple of your friends and make sure you can root to the max.

INDIA HAVE WON THE UNDER 19 CRICKET WORLD CUP. YIPEEEEEE
INDIA HAVE WON THE 1ST FINALS AGAINST AUSTRALIA. YIPPEEEEE

IT WAS INDEED A SUPER DUPER SUNDAY!!

The Company that was - TATA CONSULTANCY SERVICES

2008-02-27T01:51:00.005+05:30

Tata Consultancy Services a.k.a TCS has played a vital role in my life. Ever since I joined college, TCS has been a "Maximum Recruiting Company". What does that mean?? Maximum junta in my college ends up there. To make it even worse, they are the first company that visits the campus.

TCS was never in my good books. Probably because my sis works there. Any company where my sis works is surely not a good enough company for me. Why? Well, thats defined by the law of opposites. My sis and I don’t have a single common interest. Therefore, if she likes the company, I am bound to hate it.

The college did nothing to improve my impression about it. In fact, it made it even worse. There is something called "Placement Training". It has two phases. One organised by my seniors and the other by people outside. No offence, but I had NO BELIEF on the training given to us by our seniors. I decided to chuck it and head back home for a well deserved vacation. It was “Salaam Hyderabad" after 6 months. Little did I know that something else awaited back home other than food. After 2 days of travel, I come home fully energetic ( Don’t know where all that tiredness vanished) just to hear my dad say that I got a call from college and the placement training is mandatory else I will not be allowed to sit for TCS. He asked me leave the NEXT day. And guess what... I get to fly to Chennai so that I can spend MAXIMUM time in Hyderabad. It didn’t hit me hard then, but right after breakfast; a small mathematical calculation changed the entire perspective. I travel 1400km to enjoy a vacation and all I get is 36 hrs??? Before I could say anything the tickets were booked. Completely destroyed… would be an understatement.

I leave hyd, reach mdu cribbing and attend the "PT". Saying TOTAL CRAPPY SHIT WORTH NOT EVEN A BULL CRAP would still be praising the training.

Fast-forward... I get placed in TCS, did not feel a thing. It was just another day in my book. I have felt happier eating an ice cream or a chocolate. That night I have a nightmare about wasting my life in TCS staring at a monitor for the rest of my life.

I think this was the moment that changed the course of action. I start hunting for another job. Start off by putting my resume in every job portal I could. I don’t know why but I shared this though with my friends. Damn... one more depressing session... all you do is talk and no action... thats what he says all the time but never does anything. Well just this time... i decided not to tell anyone and work on my own.

One more idea that got the same reaction... try for a foreign job. Which foreign company would give you a job... Now you want to doom foreign companies??... My favourite comment was the one from a well know... intelligent senior of mine... it is impossible to get it... stop having high hopes.... any dont even think of a management job.. They don’t give it to engineers.

9 months later, I have a job offer from an American based Shipping firm, a post of Marketing and Sales Executive, Asia Operation working out of Singapore. Hmm... Isn’t it supposed to stop here... NAAAAA.

I have a MAJOR Gyan session about how TCS is the best company in the UNIVERSE, and I must have done a million punyams in my previous life to have got this job. Even a salary that is DOUBLE than the one offered by TCS could not convince my parents. No idea what they saw in TCS. Well... it did not stop with my parents. My dad made me meet a dozen people to advice me about how important this decision was and the impact on my future. I did get some people who supported me.

After a BIG MAHA MAHA MAHABHARATH at home, I finally leave for Singapore on June 25th(which also happens to be the same day I left for Madurai 4 years back for my engineering) while most of my friends are waiting for their call letters. I have an amazing 3 months before I come back to India for my first assignment. Hows the job? Do you like it? Are you enjoying it? Well... these might be the questions one might expect my parents would ask. But, then... all i get... its still not late... you can join TCS even now. I will help you out.

What more can I say? Just keep my mouth shut as usual and carry on with my work.

After working for 8 months as of today, when I look back, I have learnt really a LOT of stuffs and some good... some bad experience.

having fun with ppl, interact with ppl of various countries and cultures, talking to clients, travel, new places, have a cab waiting for you at the airport when you get down, have your expense taken care off, having a field job, more of brain work, absolutely not monotonous, look at every day as a new day, demanding boss who will not think twice to push you to your limit, morning shift.. Afternoon shift... night shift on the same day... every day, get blasted by clients, BLAST the upper management of FedEX and DHL, satisfaction of getting contracts, and lot more...

The most important thing I learn... Don’t take bull shit. You need to DELIVER and no matter how many motions you make. 10 completed projects are worth much more and 100 projects completed 99%.

I am sure these are experience I would have not been able to learn if I were in TCS.

When I look back... i hold not regrets. I am proud that I ditched TCS.

I AM PROUD I DITCHED MY FIRST COMPANY TO FOLLOW MY DREAM!!

The casket has been opened yet again!

2008-02-26T20:56:00.002+05:30

" So many times, it happens so fast,
You change your passion for Glory,
Don't lose the grip on the dreams of the past,
For you must fight to keep them ALIVE..."

These lines seem to make a new meaning every time i listen to it.

Posting after almost a year seems so weird. Not that i didn't want to post at all during this period. Its just that every time i sat down i did not know where to start from and got so lost that i ran out of time to post. So i finally decided to cut this vicious circle and just start off posting.

It amazes me how much things can change within such a short period of time. When i went through my previous posts it seemed like it was a different life altogether.

I am now working for a American based shipping firm, working out of Singapore. 8 months back i was stuck in a stupid village trying to complete my engineering. Engineering eh.. hmm.. i am doing marketing now. Although my current job profile has very little to do with what i have learnt (or not learnt) during my engineering life... i still enjoy it. But then, i wouldn't say it was of no use at all. I have learnt so many things back in college life that would push me through my life.

I see the change of style, words, ideas, perspective and a lot more things when i look back. But then, i guess the roots will stay no matter how mature you become.

Enough of retrospection. I guess its time to carry with the change.. for the strength of a person lies in his ease of adaptability.

This marks a new beginning. The new PERSPECTIVE.

I HAVE BEEN RESURRECTED YET AGAIN!!!

Risen From the Ashes

2007-02-02T14:13:00.000+05:30

Feels good to be back... after a long gap of over 6 months from the last post i published.

**sensing the sweetness in the air**

Why did i ever leave you sweetheart. Without you my life was so dull and boring. Now that we are back... lets show them the power of the Deadly DUO.

**sensing again the sweetness in the air** (guess somebody farted near me..)

Life stinks and trust me i CAN feel it now.

Somethings can move so fast that before you even know whats happening you reach the end.

Relationships can be so tricky... its just impossible to master it.

The dearth of friends is a painful feeling.

I have EGO... and i am proud of it.

Dropping one paper in your sems can turn your life around.

It is not easy to live an isolated life.

Who the hell created "afternoons"... they are so pissing and boring.

NEVER keep your mobile phone in your shirt pocket while you travel by bus.. IT WILL GET FLICKED.

If you loose something on DIWALI.. best way to console yourself is to think that some one is enjoying his diwali thanks to you.. and feel happy you got smiles on a few faces..(i just couldn't do it.. you might give it a try! Tell me if it works!!)

MOTORAZOR V3 sucks... NOKIA zindabad.

New year has always been amazing.

Black thunder lived up to its name.

Always check the electricals and battery in your car before you embark on a long journey.

New year in hostel is fun filled.

The drive from selam to madurai on maya turned out to be great.

Never dance in a new year bash with your specks on.. ask Arcane why..

Going home can help to change your mood.

Beers and smoke are always there if you need a change.

VODKA(neat).. LEMON pickle, terrace, old memories and smoke make an awesome combination.

Always remember not to leave your credit card with the bill.. specially if you have to drive back 20km drunk.

Lucky Ali sings well live(even if he is down with a sour throat)..

Project is one BIG pain in the ass..

Relationships are truly blood draining.

I Don't know whether i am supposed to like her or not.

1 more month for the LAST working day of the college... one LAST month to finish college.

A max of 3 more months in madurai. LAST 3 months..

ROCKY BALBOA is awesome...

NO PAIN... NO PAIN

Crows and EAGLES!!

2006-06-06T00:21:00.000+05:30

I heard this story about "Crows and eagles" (thank you Lawrence!) which reflected my situation in mdu. Pre-requisite that you should know the story. If you don't then the moral is given below...

If a crow hangs out with the eagles.. It would fly higher than the other crows. But then... If an eagle flies with the crows it flies at a very low altitude compared to its normal flight.

I am an EAGLE!! And I belong to the second situation. My version of the story... An eagle never fits in with the set of crows. It is always considered to be an outcast. Other crows make fun of it 'cause it cannot "kaw-kaw" like them. An eagle.. Being one of its kind in the group is always at the receiving end of any humiliation. It has no say... Cause no body would listen to it as it is an out cast. If questioned... "How would you know.... You are not a crow!!" During flight... It has to tag along with other crows. Now... It is again at the receiving end cause it is swift and agile where as the crows are not. So the crows start criticizing the flying style... Though more swifter and agile than a crow the eagle has to stick with the bunch of crows. It degrades its STANDARD in the attempt of adjusting. It gives up its speed and agility and tries to fly like a crow. If the eagle sticks for a long time.. It would forget that it is an eagle and start living like a crow.

Why did I give this version? This is my story out here. As I said.. I am unfortunately the EAGLE which has joined the ***** crows. All through my life in this place, everytime I tell a person (not many actually!!) about my pathetic condition here a common answer is obtained. You have to learn to adjust to this place da. I still don't get the meaning of getting adjusted. Do they want me to consider myself as a crow and fly like they do?

I have been behaving like a crow for 3 years now. What do I get??

He is a happy go lucky guy... He does not have any seriousness.. He just depends on his dad... If he can do it, anybody can... He is not interested in studies... He is not interested in anything...He does not know the abcd of electronics... He does not know the abc of anything that is useful... Boring? Where is the scapegoat?... He takes everything lightly. Say what ever you want, he wouldn't mind... Kill him and he shall not lift a single finger... He just talks a lot, no action... He is a gas bag... Make fun of him, he wouldn't say anything... You are asking him for doubts?? You must be crazy... Why are you asking him such a difficult question? Ask a 1st class kid instead! ................

In a sentence... Down troden, rodent, worth for nothing, scapegoat, punch bag, ass hole....

I am actually the opposite of the above. Rightly said... a wise man in a group of foolish people is considered a fool.

Was I always like this? Nope! No way. I was with the eagles first. Flying high above these bastards. Situations changed and I HAD to put up with these fucked up crows. But now, I am afraid. Have I forgotten how to fly high? Its been 3 years since I had spread my wing wide because I was adjusting with the fucked up bastards here. How can I be so foolish and dumb? How could I even think.. For a moment that they would consider me as their own. Why am I even trying to adjust??? What have I got by so called adjusting... NOTHING. I have just lost touch of flying high and touching the horizon. Is this what I wanted? All I wanted was company.. afterall I am a social animal. But I never dreamt I had to trade my IDENTITY instead.

It was hard to live two lives. One with the eagles... Where you were considered above equals and the other with the crows where you were considered below everything else. It was surely not easy... BUT WHY??

Now, I am sick and tired of doing that. I have lived a false life for long. I have been humiliated enough. I have been kicked around a lot. This MUST stop. There must be a period right here, RIGHT NOW!!!

I am not here to tell you when its going to end... Just that the transition has begun!!

Updates...

2006-06-04T23:18:00.000+05:30

Exams done with lot of pain...

Screwed up vacation... Ended up spending more time in a bus, train and plane rather than at HYD!!

Placement training is one BIG pain in the ass...

Get feedback from "FRIENDS" about my attitude...

Get negative publicity...

People think I am a "happy go lucky guy" type guy...

Get more insulting and depressing feedbacks...

Messed up life for the past 3 years... and ppl think I am whole together different person...

Some serious thought and conclude "I AM AMONG A GROUP OF FUCKED UP BASTARDS...” i need to get out of this place asap... its having its effect on me.

I am still thinking...

The trip that was...

2006-04-06T21:53:00.000+05:30

Banglore - March 31 to April 2

One night before...

Mahesh: Machan, Friday is a holiday. Are you going home?
Me: Home? You must be kidding! Too far and too little time.
M: I am leaving for chennai... so is Ragesh. What are you going to do over here da?
Me: hmmm... I guess I shall hit Bangalore!

Call up AC
Me: Dude! Are you free for the next 3 days?
AC: Me free... why?
Me: I am landing there tom morning.
AC: Fine. Let me know when to pick you up.
Me: Sure.

Call lasts for less than a min... And my balance is "thankfully" down only by 2 bucks!

Then head towards KM Audi to watch Rags in a skit. It lasts till 1900hrs. Remembered that I did not book my ticket. Reach hostel by 1930. Picked an "important call" that lasted for 30 min.

2000hrs... no idea whether I would catch the bus at 2100hrs. Pack my bag, change my clothes, wash my face, lock my cupboard and leave the hostel by 2010hrs. Kumar gives company. Reach bus stand by 2045. Get a ticket. Roam around. Have dinner. Call up AC and tell him the trip is confirmed. Bus leaves by 2130.

Banglore Trip:

AC sleeping as usual when I reach blr.
Picks me up after a 20 min wait.
Plan to have "BUTTER MASALA DOSA" for breakfast at a place which I miss a lot. Never did. *sniff* *sniff*
On the hunt for prospectus from schools for AC's sis.
Suddenly make plans of hitting Mysore. Decided we would leave in an hour.

CRASH... SPARKS... Me superman... OLD AUNTY-ALMOST BROKEN LEG.
Maya kisses the tarmac for the first time. AC glides on the road. I crash into an unsuspecting AUNTY on the RING ROAD.
Get TT and bandages... Maya has an inverted 7 on her hood.

Plan delayed by 1 hour. Still leave for Mysore though AC's dad was pissed about it.
3.5 hrs of boring journey... some people would just not give up sleep.
Reach Mysore by 1830hrs.
Checked into a hotel after a lot of halla-gulla about them photographing us. What do they think we are... slayers... naa, Devils...? YA!!
St. Philomena church is the first stop.
Spend a few min in prayer and then hit the road again.
AC gives 20 instead of 30 to the auto guy... me end up paying 40 for that after a small scene created there.
Nice dinner. "Andhra Pappu" after a long time.
Load ourselves for the night.
AC takes it light.
2230. I get the kick. Speak some cricket GYAN! AC wants to sleep.
Leave him at peace, though I hated it!!
"Baba Sikandar se panga lene ke saza bahut bhari padti hai, bache. Apne baap ki ke huei galiti phir se mat kar." Typical "MITHUN" da dialogue in EALAN. Watch TV till god knows when before I doze of... the kick finally drops dead.

New day. New hopes. Up by 0630hrs. Got used to getting up early after a party night. (Hostel training.. make it to first hour!)Dress up and leave by 0730 hrs. Breakfast.
Chamundi hills.
Some "thinking stuff" on top of the hills.
Back down. Another bus trip and some ppl can just not stop sleeping!!!
Back to St. Philomena for some snaps...
Catch a bus back to Blr.
Started well. Made life miserable for a few. Some light moments. Some laughs here and there.
A "HYDRABADI KUR-KHURE" to spice up the moment.
I finally shut my mouth. My efforts to keep ppl from sleeping go in vain. SLEEPYHEAD!
An act of sleep... though it did not make me sleep! *sniff*

Blr by 1445 hrs.
Dad calls and says he is blr and wants to meet up. Rendezvous Point "Forum" at 1525hrs.
One bottle of NIKE deo on me... some went into my mouth to eliminate the smell of "things that cannot be named".
Meet dad for 10 min. Get some cash and my SUMMER INTERNSHIP certificate.
Wait for someone for over an hour outside forum... never to turn up. Eat a late lunch...
Back home.
Meet LALI at BMS. Some hot discussions over a cold orange juice.
Sponsored dinner but ended up paying for it.
Back home watch NUMB3RS!
Try calling VODKA but then thought she would be fast asleep. So drop the plan.
AC snoring to glory. Hit the bed at 0230hrs.

LAST DAY AT BLR!

Leave house at 1000 after packing everything.
Meet "frustrated" Shu 'cause we made her wait for half an hour.
Breakfast at "Dosa Corner".
Say hi! to baby cross... (Sorry... INFANT JESUS!)
Visit Shu's house and a wonderful HOME LUNCH over some random talk.
Visit random places.
Say hi to MADHAVAN's park.
Search for AC and find him blowing his top.
Use the principle of "DIVIDE and RULE".
Embarrassments, lots of dumb talk, but VICTORIOUS in the end.
Visit couz at airport road... AC has a crush on her.
MEGABOWL... too long a wait. Got to catch my bus in another 1.5 hrs.
Search for a pub which never existed.
Search in a RESIDENTIAL AREA!
More random roaming... reminds me of "ringa ringa roses... One person’s patience falls DOWN."
Lots of heat.
Finally try to chill at CORNER HOUSE.
I guess I spoke a lot... someone gets too frustrated and keeps her strawberry shake down in protest.
Keep my mouth shut after that.
Drool over a "DEATH BY CHOCOLATE".
Somebody once told me that "no one can complete it alone... I DID IT!! (I guess it was VODKA!) In record time.
More heat as we sit down to eat. Could see vapors on a person's head.
Get a little pissed but then... PLAY ALONG!
Time to tear through the traffic... shu following closely.
Waste a MAL due to AC.
Hit the bus stand just in time.
Some final snaps... too pissed off by then. The fact that I was leaving civilization added to it.
Some weird bye-bye. I think I said... "Thanks for coming”!@#$%
A final HUG!
A MAL on behalf of some one.
A MAL in the memory of someone.
Sit in the bus and send a few “I am sorry!" msg.
Sleep!!!

MAYA!!!

2006-03-30T11:10:00.000+05:30

Read this at AC's blog.

Vishnu smiled. ÂCalm down, Narada. Tell me, where did your family come from? From Me. I am the only reality, the only entity in the cosmos that is eternal and unchanging. Everything else is an illusion Â a mirage, constantly slipping out of oneÂs grasp.Â ÂYou, my greatest devotee, knew that. Yet, enchanted by the pleasures of worldly life, you forgot all about me. You deluded yourself into believing that your world and your life were all that mattered and nothing else was of any consequence. As per your perspective, the material world was infallible, invulnerable, perfect. That is Maya.Â

This is an extract from the bhagavad Gita about an incident of Narada where he was enchanted by a gorgeous woman and forgot his purpose.

I usually dont believe in mythology but this perticular one has a mordern significance. PURPOSE!! We are all sent here to do something at somepoint of time. Our absence from this world would have started a chain reaction of deadly events. Hence every entity in this world is responsible for what is happening right now.

As a child i wanted to be a "engine driver" 'cause i loved travelling and the "huge moving thing" caught my imagination. Then i wanted to become "a pilot" 'cause the flying machine made my creativity soar to the heights. I never wanted to become an engineer(which i would be in a year!) when i was a kid... probably a scientist (thanks to my dad!). I slowly graduated my "want to be list" to a fighter pilot 'cause the speed gave me the thrill. The common thing in all of the above is CREATIVITY!!

But then reality can be harsh sometimes. I became none of the above. I am stuck in a engineering college where creativity is a SIN! But that not the point here. The point is.. we somehow or the other get lost mid way into realising our dreams.

FOCUS. Does that word have any meaning now? Good question. The answer is a flat NO!! When you dont do what you enjoy doing, you loose your creativity. That is when life become mechanical. People tend to loose track in a number of ways. But to top the list of distractions is GIRLS.

Girls, for some may be a source of inspiration and support. But i truly feel they slow you down. Take you in an all together different path. This is same as the one described in story above. They lure you with their charm and make you run behind them. Some enjoy running behind gals, some enjoy watching them sitting on a platform but I consider both a waste of time.

More over, you dont tend to find gals who are as emotionally and mentally matured as you are! The number of words used to explain something to a guy is 1/10th of the words used to explain gals. Waste more time... Ya i do agree that the feeling of being with them is divine and there is nothing compared to having that feeling and they complete your life they add emotion etc..BUT... just to drink 180 ml of alcohol... WHY buy the entire wine shop!! No offence... but is the slow down of pace WORTH IT??

The only way to actually know YOUR PURPOSE is to rise over the distractions. Have an eagle's eye view of whats happening... No distraction is impossible but then you can always OPTIMISE DISTRACTION!! (now.. i am speaking like an engineer!!)

Listen to the omens for they shall tell you, when you start wandering away from your purpose!!

Real than Reality!!

2006-03-18T01:50:00.000+05:30

One more competition, one more submission. A story from the great one. Check it out!

She was screaming like a whore and begging for more as I pushed her further. She took my breath away and I felt divine. She gave me the kick at 260 km/hr.

Yamaha R1, the bike of the millennium, the babe of my dreams, was rocking to my tunes. With 180 horses under its hood, it was down to man and machine. It took me 6 months to tame the wild cat and now its purrs to my wishes. Given my background, she helps me vanish into thin air.

It was 31^st December, 1999, the last day of the millennium. With the Y2K problem solved, people were on the streets celebrating the dawn of a new millennium. The festive mood had set in and I was no exception. I had all the reasons to celebrate too. A job well finished and two huge projects in my hand fetching me 7 figure income per gig.

Living life on the fast lane, describing myself in six words. The road had been chosen to test the new nitro boosters bound to take you over 320 km/hr. I took one last look at the long road, deserted and straight. One kick and she roared with energy. A little twist of the wrist and speedometer read 220. I looked at the red button, press me for ecstasy. I did. It was instantaneous, my eyes could not register anything more than 10 meters and I thought I would fly away.

The rush was more than I could expect, the kick was more than I had anticipated. I was on top of the world. And I felt the winds howling at me, loud enough to be a truck horn.

Then I saw, a sight I can never forget. Two bright eyes, as bright as the sun, staring right into my eyes. Headlights of a lorry. My legs hit the brakes. I could feel the tarmac tearing my skin. She ejected me out and headed toward her doom. The last thing I remember were the sparks hitting my face.

I heard voices, he is lucky to have escaped with just a broken hand. My eyes opened. It took me a minute to realise where I was. How did I reach the hospital? Where is my babe? What happened? Who is responsible…and a million more questions racing through my mind. It was like telepathy. A nurse with white apron and glass of water in her hand made me swallow a huge tablet. You are the St. Marks missionary hospital. It’s not everyday that a person gets to spend the last day of the millennium in a hospital ward. I saw the digital clock hung opposite to me. It read 7:30 pm 31^st December 1999. That’s when I understood the situation. Don’t worry about your bike sir, it’s at the parking lot and I think it is still in running condition. You can check it as soon as you get discharged.

It was 9 in the night by the time I got discharged. A plaster on my left hand and a wallet lighter by Rs.1500. I reached the parking lot surprised to see her still in one piece. She is still in working condition. I responded to the voice and turned around to see a gorgeous looking gal, probably in her mid 20s. I found you on the highway and rode you and your bike down here. She had survived the crash really well. I thanked her for the trouble she took. Can I ask you for one last favour? I asked. Depends on the favour she said. I took a deep breath and asked can you drop me home, as you see I am not in a condition to ride. I kept a helpless expression on my face. No problem. I actually live 2 streets away from yours. Don’t look like that; I had checked your driving license. My attempt to hide my disbelief had failed.

She parked my bike in the parking lot and dropped me home. She bid farewell and promised to drop by next morning to check up on me. This was like a dream. One moment I am crashing my bike and next I have a gorgeous looking lady dropping me home and promising to check up on me. What else could I ask for?

Who am I? A question even my parents would have trouble answering. I am a 25 year old handsome lad from Hyderabad, wanting to make a mark for myself. An engineer from Indian Institute of Technology, Madras; trained in designing modern warfare for the country. But I wanted more. I was not satisfied with the designing part. Joined the CBI as an analyst but went on to join the HRT (Hostage Rescue Team), Gold medallists form the CTC (Commando Training Centre). To put it simple, I am an assassin for the Indian Government. My original records have been erased and I do not have an identity of my own. I change my identity according to my job. I was Ramakrishna 1week back, the sniper who killed the sandalwood brigand Verappan. A job well executed. I always thought the government should have brought us in before but the state governments thought otherwise. I am now, Rahul Bhat, and my next target is Abdul Waghre, chief of Lashkar-e-Taiba based in Kashmir.

The dawn of the new millennium was great and I hoped I would find a lovely girl to settle with. The bell rang. Wish you a many happy returns of the day and wonderful New Year!! It was the gorgeous girl who dropped me yesterday. It was not a dream after all! How do you know it’s my birthday? I think I gave the disbelief look again. Your driving license can say loads about you. Can I come in? That is when I realised we were still standing at the door. Sure. Please do. Can I get you a cup of coffee? She made her self comfortable on my couch. I will have one spoon of sugar. I passed the information to kanta, my maid servant. I am sorry, in all the confusion I even forgot to ask your name and your particulars. Meanwhile, kanta got the coffee and served. I am Maya. I work for Infosys. I had shifted here from Mumbai about 3 weeks back. A great lover of bikes and I admire your bike. There are not many of those in the country, enjoyed riding it yesterday. A smile found its way on to my face, the pride of owning a Yamaha R1. What do you do for a living? She asked. I had practiced the answer over a thousand times, part of the training given before you change your identity. I work as a section manager in Intel soft. She sure is talkative. I got to know more about her and she got to know more about Rahul Bhat.

January 26^th, 2000. 50 years of Republic India. We attended the parade at the red fort. We became very close to each other. I spent a lot of time with her. All the time I was feeling guilty that she is under a false impression of who I was. I actually liked her a lot and I think she is the one I have been waiting for 25 years of my life. But, my profession does not allow me to disclose my real identity to anyone unless the person has security clearance. I could kill my self for this, but then I had others to kill first. The day set for the mission was 16^th January. But due to my hand, it was postponed to 13 February. My hand was alright by now. And I started my training.

The whole day I spent at the training centre under the pretext of working for Intel soft. In the evenings, Maya and I would get together and have dinner. The D-date was closing near so was I toward Maya. I had decided that this is the girl I would spend my entire life with. This is the girl I would share all my joys & sorrows.

Meanwhile, the training had become intense. I was briefed about the details of Abdul Waghre, his allies and mates. I had to know in and out about him so as to make the perfect plan. The best part of this job was that I was allowed to call the shots. I planned the entire setup and execute it. I work alone.

The time I spent with Maya got reduced and she was not pleased with it. I gave a pretext of audit and up coming budget adjustments at work. She understood my situation, though not the actual one, but adjusted accordingly. This attitude of hers had sealed all my decisions. I am going to propose to her and get married to her. I set the apt date for this. February 14, Valentines Day. Moreover, I would have finished my mission by then and the next one was due only in November 2000.

The protocol required me to leave for Kashmir by February 12. I told Maya that I have a meeting in Ajmear and would be back by 14^th. She didn’t seem very pleased but nevertheless she agreed. Man, I love her really a lot. We decide to meet on 12^th evening at 5:30 in the deserted gardens of Shah Alam. I was looking forward for this. Thought of showing her a trailer of what was in store for her on the 14^th. I had to control myself because I wanted the proposal to be on a special day. I had to remind myself show her only the trailer and not the entire movie!!

I reached on dot at 5:30 on the evening of February 12^th. I had just spoken to my mission director on my mobile. The parameters for my mission were set. I was going to leave by 10:30 in the night and do my job at 3:45 pm the next day when Abdul Waghre is addressing a rally. But, at that moment, none of these were in my mind. All I knew was that I was going to see the girl of my dreams.

I heard a coarse voice.

Funny, how small people like you think they can kill Abdul Waghre.

A chill ran through my spine. I turned around to see Abdul Waghre standing right in front of
me. I had no clue. No body had trained me to handle this type of situation.

It’s easy to kill me but you can’t kill the name Abdul Waghre. Why doesn’t your government understand this? Why can’t you let the Kashmiri decide their own fate? Why does your government always poke its big nose into our affairs? Answer me.

My throat was dry. I was still recovering from the shock of meeting the person whom I was supposed to kill the next day. I knew I was surrounded and with no gun in my hand I had as much chance of surviving as finding a needle in a hay stack. I knew this was my end and I was staring straight into the eyes of death. Nothing new but still this might be the last time I would do that.

A final plan struck me. I acted cool. Put my hands into my pocket and shouted back.

You can’t get away with this. I have backup waiting in the car outside. If I don’t go back within 5 minutes they would come in search of me. And then your game would end.

Meanwhile, I pressed the dial button twice knowing that it would call the last dialled number which was of my mission director. I just hoped he picked up the phone and heard the conversation I was having. But a million questions were running in my mind. How did he find me? How did he know? How did… I was still wondering when I heard a familiar voice.

It is true that love does make people go blind.

I did not have words to say. It was a shock I had never anticipated. I just couldn’t take it anymore. How could I be so stupid?

Never doubted your dear Maya, did you?

Do you want to have the pleasure of killing him, Maya?

I know people die in love, but I guess I can see it right now. Say your last prayers, if you have any…

BANG!!!

It was pain beyond imagination, emotional more than physical. The scene changed. I saw a white wall. Is this heaven? I saw a lady in a white apron. Is she an angel? She had a glass of water in her hand. You need to lie down. You are the St. Marks missionary hospital. It’s not everyday that a person gets to spend the last day of the millennium in a hospital ward. I looked around and saw the digital clock hung opposite to me. It read 7:30 pm 31^st December 1999.

Was this all just a dream?

The catch of the competition was that it sould end with "was this all just a dream?" and so did my story. Thank you for reaching till here!!

DESIRE!!

2006-03-15T22:43:00.000+05:30

Had written this for a poetry competition in my coll. called acumen! This was extremely hard because every line I composed had a minimum of two expletives. Had to pass my thoughts through a censor board to screen things out. It’s not all that wonderful to have a gutter mind!

Screaming into this world I came,
Out of captivity, freedom finally attained.
I know I have shot to fame,
Love and care, is all I desired.

Entered college as sharp as a knife,
Flirting is an art and I had excelled.
There she stood, the love of my life,
Let me have her, is all I desired.

Living life on the fast lane,
Work and party is all I lived.
Stop being a playboy I tried, but in vain,
Dame and money, is all I desired.

Husband I became, knew it was her,
Loved her more than what was required.
Shot up in life, jealous they were,
Power and Glory, is all I desired.

On my deathbed, I lay,
Lived life to the fullest, I hoped.
Start it all over again, if I may,
A painless death, is all I desired.

Rang De Basanti!!

2006-03-03T15:15:00.000+05:30

It’s an old topic; saw it long time back in Chennai. The movie has a lot of unforgettable moments tagged along to it. Saw it during saarang, was having lots of fun, got the some fundae about life later that day, wonderful company and many more stuffs. I was busy enjoying the company then and the real meaning of the movie did not strike me till now. Can’t blame them.

The movie got released in MDU yesterday and had gone for the night show the only show for us. The movie was not just about a bunch of guys shooting the defence minister to avenge the death of their friend. There are a lot more lines to be read between the lines.

India is going nowhere. That’s hard to accept but then since when has truth become easier to accept?

Apne ghar ke safai mein khud ka hath kyon ganda karein.

It’s just not that. There is another dialogue in the movie that supports my stand.

Yahan ki system ko badalne ki kosish karo, yeh system tumhe khud badal dega.

This is very true. No matter where and what you are doing, this is true. I tried it out in my college and swore I would never think of it again. Given a thought and I am sure I can find millions of such examples.

College ke ander zindagi ko hum nachate hain aur college ke bhar zindagi hamein.

This made me realise the company I was sitting with. 11 of my close friends sitting beside me enjoying ourselves not worrying about what George Bush is going to say tomorrow or what the recently announce budget has in store for us. For all that matters, we don’t even care that we might get caught by the warden for coming 5 hrs after the curfew time! Not worry about which gal is thinking what about us. It’s like cutting yourself from the world and having some hardcore fun!

Yahan zinda rahene ki ladai mein logon ki zindagiyan chalee jati hain.

What is the use of life when you can’t feel the rush and kick of having one. The movie proves something which is very important in my life.

There are no right or wrongs in life. There is only what you believe in!

Sometimes, what is right for me is wrong for others. Just because of this I don’t give up on my stand. There are no rights and wrongs. I do what I believe in. There can’t be any other thing that is more correct than that. Hitler killed all those people because he believed in something. He never saw what was right or wrong. I have seen a lot of people arguing about his decisions. But, has anyone been in that situation to actually feel what it is like to make such decisions? NOPE!! And then everyone starts criticising his ideas. I respect him for the simple reason that he had the balls to do what he believed in. I do what I believe in. If you have a problem with that you can go to Pluto and search for water!!

Ek pair past mein aur dusra pair future main. Iseliye hum present per muth rahein hain.

Is this an indianised dialogue? Neither can we forget or leave the past nor can we abandon the future. Stuck in this web we do nothing in the present. Yep, we are pissing on are present so that we become pissed off when our future arrives.

Dur se commentary dena asan hai. Agar uthna hi hai to tum bhi politics join karo, IPS ya army mein bhartiho jao, badlo is desh ko…

What is the point in joining all these when the selection process itself involves a lot of corruption? Is it that, to fight corruption, we have to promote corruption, become corrupted, reach a high level and then start changing the nation? Power, itself corrupts a person as learned for the lord of the rings.

The movie has invoked a lot of questions inside me which have no answers other than; you don’t have the fucking time for all this. This is partially true but still the small amount patriotism inside is screaming and demanding for explanation and answers. Answers to the questions that should not be asked!!

Ab bhi jiska khoon na khola, Khoon nehi woh pani hai,

Jho desh ke kaam na aye woh bekar javani hai.

The transition of a BATH ROOM singer!!

2006-02-25T05:20:00.000+05:30

Music is something that runs in my family. By music.. I mean carnatic. My mom, grandma, sis(to an extent!), aunt's... And lots more are pros in the art. The same was expected of me.

It took them two months to realize that I was totally hopeless. Cant blame them. My grandma tried teaching me and my couz at the same time!!( for those who came in late.. H and I are pretty quite when apart... But when we combine, we generate enough power to give a thermal power station a run for its money). Imagine, two kids (aged 9 I guess...) who are deprived of their play time (cricket time), to be made to sit at one place (ouch!! Now that hurts..) and sing random combinations of 7 words!!

M.S.Subhalakshmi, a name loved by all, a name hated by me! She was in the top 10 of my must kill list. She sang the suprabhatam which used to run in my house the moment i used to hit the pillow( 0500 hrs). It used to take me 2 pillows to filter out the noise.

Though I hold no grudges on C-music... I still don't get the funda behind singing the same 7 words in different combinations. Mathematically, there are 7P7 combinations. But then, we use just a small fraction of it. Why? If theses 7 notes can make up a song why do we need lyrics...

Sa Re Ga Ma Pa Da Ni SA

7 notes to fame. If you can sing them properly... You are an ace. Not that I remember how easy or tough it was to learn... Logically speaking, how tough is it to learn 7 notes??

Anyway... Coming back to the post, I was always considered as a black sheep of the family (I had company!!) for not being interested in classical music. Once I even managed to brainwash all the students of my grandma against c-music(that was a painful experience). But it all changed. On the 15th of Feb, 2006... I sang, I sang to glory(positive or negative??).

Thinking about it now, it seems to be a bold yet stupid move. I did not know it was a intra college event. I was just expecting to see my department crowd. After looking at the crowd... I did get tensed up but then I was not going to give up!!

The song I was going to sing.. Summer of 69! Why did I choose the song? God knows.. I wanted to sing nothing else matters by METALLICA 'cause it suits my voice better. It was a random decision. No preparation. No practice. Heard the song couple of times.. Wrote down the lyrics for emergency purposes. And, I was ready to sing.

Name called... Went on stage... Looked at the crowed... Someone shouted "what the fuck are you doing over here." The answer was prompt... To Sing to glory!! I started... Good one.. Hitting the high note. Then I don't know what happened. I knew the lyrics but still I was looking at the paper. I lost my tune in the middle... But still I continued singing. I changed the ending so as to end it off in a low note. Finished and looked at the crowd.

I was expecting tomatoes and eggs(reminds me of holi!). But then I got something I did not get expect. Applause ...clap clap clap!!! Grew higher and louder. There I stood... Proud at my FIRST performance on stage!

I called up my grandma and told her I sang. Though she did not know the song... She felt good. My grandson finally sang on stage. Welcome to the family.

I knew I sucked big time... But then who the fuck cares. I can now say.. I gave a stage performance!!

For a person who used to sing in the bathroom all the time, who could not make proper combination of 7 notes, who was branded as the black sheep, this was truly a great moment. Who the fuck cares whether it came out good or bad, I atleast had the balls to go on stage and give it a shot!!

They were certain people who did make me raise an eyebrow..

N- Good one. Though I did not know what you sang... It did sound melodious!
S- Same goes to you too. Next time, try closing your eyes and not laugh half way into the song.
De- Good going. You reminded me of a guitar. The drags produced... Is like pulling the strings in a guitar.
J- Nice song dude!
Dav- Way to go!

Some of the c-music were good, probably a few beats here and there would have made it better! It made me think again about my view about carnatic... The verdict..

I stand by the same... Carnatic music is neither in my cup of tea nor in my ear!

Life!!

2006-02-04T03:39:00.000+05:30

This one is dedicated to all those who are finishing college in a few weeks from now.

I sometimes feel lucky that i have got an additional year to spend with friends... and yet again a voice at the back of my head screams... "Come back to reality, get out of this place asap... your only way to return to civilization!!"

Enjoy ppl!!

Those night outs, those midnight teas
Those birthday bumps and parties
.... Old torn jeans
those late night walks
.... Long chats...pinches and slaps
.... Crushes on pals;
those mother's pickles and the fight for them
Playing pranks in class, getting kicked out of class,
.... Struggle for marks;
Writing on the desks...Fights with teachers;
Tears for love;
Those B-grade movies and those peal for placements
just everything.... That’s college life
I call it HEAVEN.

SAARANG@IIT M

2006-01-31T01:04:00.000+05:30

Long time since I have posted. My only defense, life is an orgasmic bitch.

Saarang is an annual event at iit M, celebrating the joy of cultural competition. Truly one of the best I have been to. The standards were high so were the stakes. And a lovely crowd. I have yet again fallen in love with the place.

Saarang did end up in a very sentimental way for me. Had been to my couz house for couple of hours. The time I spent there surely did take my mind off the numerous probs I have. It was just pure fun. Recollecting old memories can always put a smile on your face. I laughed on some of the silliest things I must have done when I was a kid. Man... That was just too good to describe. It makes you realize how far you have come... how matured you have become over a course of time.

thanks pups... had a lovely time!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

2006-01-01T15:09:00.000+05:30

I hoped it would be just another day... I was wrong. Though people get older by the second, we realize it only when our birthday arrives. But this one was special... I have turned 20!! I can see my lovely teen years flowing away and reminding me that the carefree days are over and it’s high time I started taking my life serious!!

This birthday started pretty well, went on great with me having an AMAZING time. But the end was something I had not foreseen. It came swift, painful and TRAGIC blowing all my happiness in one quick swing!

The best part of my birthday is that it falls on the NEW YEAR!! So... along with all the new year celebrations my birthday celebrations get tagged along! End of the day, I end up a happy man who has thoroughly enjoyed the day.

The usual way of celebrating birthdays is to wake up early in the morning, have oil bath, go to the temple, pray god for what ever you want cause you can get lucky on your birthday... spend time with your family and party with your friends in the evening!!

Well, though I know I am unique... my birthday routine is pretty much opposite to the usual trend! Party starts off on the eve of the new year... the evening of 31st dec. Spend time with friends till the clock hits 12! Get kicked, bashed, punched, assaulted and almost killed (All this read as birthday bumps!!) and when every one is done venting out their frustration and anger they have been storing for a year on me... I PRAY GOD... to thank him that I am still alive... though not in a good shape, but still ALIVE! Then the party goes on till sun rise and then with the break of dawn... I hit the sack (night for me!). But, as long as you have non party animals in this world... I would always get woken up with someone calling and wishing me. Though I don’t blame them but still... I guess I deserve a little sleep on my b'day! So the calling stuff goes on all day and it’s really tough to catch up on your sleep. Where as all my friends recharge their batteries which is almost full by afternoon and here I am, my head shouting... BATTERY LOW!!! Well, its party time in the afternoon... with a movie or a lunch, followed by another party for the rest of the group. The new year always starts off with me coming home early (probably by 2200hrs) and sleeping on MY bed (it’s probably the first and LAST time for the year).

This year was not much different. Well, no difference in the fun and sleep part at least. This time, as for the last 2 years, I spent my birthday away from home. It is pretty disappointing to be away from home and not with your usual group. But time to grow up! The best part was I DID spend my birthday with all my CLOSE FRIENDS as always. A group of 8 of us, partying it out at kodaikannal! The weather was just great with the minimum reaching as low as -1. Freezing?? Not exactly but my kinda climate! (I love winter) So we did party it out as the usual way. Just that the partying mood started as early as 30th dec. With 3 days in kodai, amazing fun! We checked into a hotel for the mid-night celebrations! OK music, nice disco. No good chicks but decent enough. To my horror, I found another group of my seniors (15 of them I guess!) at the same place. It turned out to be nice... 23 ppl from the same college partying. It’s always nice to party with a large group. Came back to the cottage where we were staying. Continued the celebrations with party performance enhancers and partied till dawn. Didn’t realize when I dozed off but then when I got up for a call probably an hour later... i did see that every one were laying dead on the bed! Sleep was something I could not expect and something which I never got anyway. By the time everyone got up it was afternoon. We had our lunch and headed back to hostel!! A stupid bus ride but worth it.

As I said in the beginning... A lovely birthday celebration. But, all good things have to come to an end. So did this. It was something I had not foreseen. It came swift, painful and TRAGIC! The blow was almost fatal with me just managing to survive. It was way more powerful than all the birthday bumps I had ever got, put together. My heart which was pumping adrenalin all along started pumping hate, agony and misery. True... tragedy strikes when you least prepared for it. It hits when you are so vulnerable.

It was a birthday gift I CAN NEVER FORGET!!!

I am happy that it came at the last hour of my birthday...

Stadium in a room!

2005-12-27T22:27:00.000+05:30

Akhtar at the end of his run up. You can see pure aggression on his face. He is coming charging toward the wicket bowling to one of the best batsman in the world… On to the front foot and the ball has disappeared out of the stadium. Sachin is doing what he is best at… whooping the steam out of the bowlers.

The sound is so real that you cannot find the difference between the stadium and our indoor theater!!

Watching a match with someone around is great but with 500 people around you?? It just can’t get any better! It’s the stadium atmosphere. With all the ohhhhs and ahhhhs made when the ball just misses the wicket or fails to take a leading edge, to the whistles and screams when the ball crosses the boundary line… you can find it all.

Yet another feather in my hostel’s hat! Experiencing the thrills and chills... man, I just love it. I love my hostel. You just can’t watch a match like this anywhere else. Surround sound effect with Dolby tech! To add to that, you have more than 500 people screaming and cheering their home team.

Merry Christmas!!!

2005-12-26T23:02:00.000+05:30

Some people find it funny when they attend their first christmas mass. Especially when you have no clue of whats happening out there and the language is too complicated for you to understand. You look at people around you praying and you finally decide to follow the crowd. But still, you do feel out of place.

I was one of those!!

No doubt that it was an enlightening experience to know the insights and proceedings of a new religion... but still there is a nagging doubt in your mind... what am i doing here??

The cake was great!

When you travel 8 hrs in a stupid government bus with pre-historic seats... you wish the trouble is worth it.

It was.

Weight Control

2005-12-13T23:36:00.001+05:30

I weigh 74kg and my waist size is 32 inches!!

That was my condition 2.5 years back. I now weigh 60 kgs and my waist size is 28 inches. Well, it did not take me so long to reduce. Infact it just took me a month to come to my current weight and i have not put on weight since then. Hostel mess zindabad!!

For a guy who is 5'11 is it that bad??

I remember vodka telling me that i look punny on a pulsar. Bloody hell, who cares!! Its not that i listen to people... more over i am probably gona ride on heavier machineary like the Yamaha R1 which has got 180 horses under its hood. I dont give a damn about how people think i look on a bike. I would go by the pleasure and kick i have riding her.

But then... i dont like the fact that people think i am too thin. I do realize that i have actually shed down really a lot and its high time to put on some weight. I just cant find out ways to put on some weight.

I am at home right now and making a conscious effort to eat more and put on some weight. But, i am sure once i am back to mdu i would loose all that extra weight. And the gym, would actually act as a catalyst!!

I am happy i am not carrying any extra flesh. Makes me more flexible, agile and ready for action 24x7.

LAKSHYA...

2005-12-10T01:17:00.000+05:30

A dark tunnel leading into another. Is there light anywhere. Wish I could say let there be light.

This is my conditions as of now. I am stuck in the silence before the war. I have just come out of a tunnel. A tunnel which took me 2.5 years to travel. Though I see tunnels... I see a lot of them. Each of them as dark as the others, as inviting as the others and as attractive as the others. Its time to make those few vital decisions which are going to pave your path to glory. Glory is the destination... But you have to choose how you get there...

This post has been titled lakshya after the movie by the same name. Its one of the movie that has had its impact on me. I must have seen the movie a million times. It just reminds me of myself.

A man, with no possible knowledge of what the future has instore for him, who is happy go lucky type ends up on one of the highest peaks of the country!

Well, It took him 24 years and 18000 feet to realize himself!

What about me?? No idea again. Just when things start to clear up its gets blurred again. Its like watching a trailer.

Back to BASE!!

2005-12-07T17:20:00.000+05:30

I have finally reached home. It was a gruesome 3 weeks. This is the first time in 5 sems that I feel I have put in some work towards my acads. I just hope the results show the same.

The trip back home was bad. Reached chennai about 2 hours late. I was actually thankfully that it did not rain that day! My train from chennai started 1.5 hours late and reached hyderabad about 5 hours late!! I thought I would see the rising sun back at home but reached on time for lunch.

Even the company back to hyd was not great. I had 3, ok looking gals in my block. Initially I was excited. Finally I get to see some good looking gals.. Fact that I am deprived of them back at mdu! So I guess I made great plans which eventually crashed harder than a MIG-21.

It turned out that all three of them were from IIT M. A place, a dreamland for many including me. But destiny has its own way! Now this is where I found out the difference between a normal gal and an IIT gal!!

All they spoke about was about their courses.
Though they had a junior around... NO RAGGING!!
They were discussing about how their profs teach.
About all the "mugging" that they do.
Tips on doing it better.
Each of them shouting at the top of their voice just to be heard... Haven't they ever heard.. You need to listen to the other person too.
All of them speak at the same time. Do not care about what the other person has to say but all they want is to put their point forward.
They do not speak about the guys!!
And finally when they DID speak about the guys... They addressed them with their "All India Rank". That guy is AIR-2 and he is AIR-196. Blah..Blah..
They started discussing about some theory on how to arrange their wardrobe.. How whites are a big NO-NO and black ZINDABAD. Didn't you know that black is the best colour no matter what!!

Well, I would have spoken, IF I WAS GIVEN A CHANCE. They were busy in their own world that I was not interested in getting them out of it.

Are all gals like this?? Obviously NOT, cause I know a lot who are not! But then.. With gals.. You never know!!

Anyways, I have finally come back to home base and intend on doing something worthwhile for the next 2 weeks. Well, I did have a good start as I slept the whole day.

I’m coming back I will return

And I’ll possess your body and I’ll make you burn

I have the fire I have the force

I have the power to make my evil take it’s course

THE DEVIL IS BACK!!

4 digit and still going!!

2005-12-07T17:17:00.000+05:30

Yippie!! I have reached the 4 digit mark.. Thanks junta!! Well i guess it reached the mark on 2nd dec!!

1000 and still going...

Sword raised... Ready for WAR!!

2005-11-11T15:01:00.000+05:30

Its that time of the semester again...

Sem exams begin from Monday. The preps are as usual not up to the mark. But, being a faithful engineering student... The true and effective preps start the night before.

Its gona be a 3 long weeks. No sleep for starters. Though it is hard, this time I am certainly gona try not sleeping. Sleep makes all the difference. Pass or fail. S grade or A grade. Midnight teas and teas at 3 in the morning would surely be in.

The best part of staying in a hostel is that you always have some one to explain anything to ya and the atmosphere at 2 in the morning is similar to 6 in the evening. You still have people roaming around in the corridors. Canteen, is always a crowded place. Max crowd between 12 and 1. Its kinda psychological to have tea or coffee once the clock hits 12.

I certainly don't have a great CGPA (Cumulative Grade Point Average) to boast about. Infact I have one the most pathetic ones. So, this time its gona be a sincere effort to try improving my GPA. Though I hate the system, it sometimes gets to you.

The below are a few reminders I have made up for myself.

NO SLEEP!!! ( no matter how much I love it!)
don't leave portions for the next morning.
No better time than night time.
High time to prove my worth.. And prove a lot of people wrong.
The heat is on... Sweat it out.
Its time to "reclaim" my life. I cant find a better chance to start off with.

The swords are raised and the WAR horn has been blown. Its now or never.

December 2nd, independence day, for me, at least. Would be on a train back to hyderabad!!

Henceforth, I guess the next post would be after I have completed my sems.

Wish me LUCK!! (well I don't believe in it.. But then what harm may it cause!!)

Edited on 14th Nov:

One more things to the list!
7. NO cricket... even if INDIA is on a winnig spree and Dhoni's favorite number is 6!! Yippee... India won the series!! Watch out SA!! 1st ODI at HYD and i cant believe i am not there!

The PAST SEZ.....

2005-11-08T11:12:00.000+05:30

People keep telling "don't look at the past" "Forget the past" "Jo hona tha so hogaya... Uske bare mein sonch ke khy faida"

All shit. The past is your portal. It is an experienced proof of all the mistakes, achievements and everything you did. How can you even think of forgetting the past? How can you even think that it holds no reference to you?

The above few lines were probably written out of frustration. But then, sometimes you do realize that it is the past that drives your future. You might have been a king in the past, you might have been the best of the best, you might have been the most wanted guy/gal, you might have been everything you are not right now! So, don't look at the past and just drive on?

The point of being what you were in the past is something like benchmarking yourself. The fact that eventhough you have lost all the luster you had in the past, you atlest HAD IT!! I would say it is the driver of your future because all the feelings, at the height of your life cannot be forgotten. The point that you have reached the apex is that you can always reach it again!

Why do we fall son? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up again. - BATMAN BEGINS

When you build a castle from trash... and if the castle happens to... disintegrate, we at least have the belief that we can do it again because I have DONE IT IN THE PAST! been there, done that!

The frequent misconception is that thinking about the failures of the past might just get you down. The way to look at it is to analyze what went wrong and start working on it. Learning to pick ourselves up with out any support is tough but sure is a thrill when you do it.

I had an impressive past. When I look back now, I guess I did have my share of stardom and fame. But do I have it now?? The answer would be in the negative. But as I said... If I can do it once I can always do it again. Everyone dreams about being famous. I, don't dream. The omens keep saying you will be back... I know I will regain my lost territory. The question is when? Its not the mera number ayega stuff... Its more like the silence that prevails before a fierce battle back to the top.

I guess that explains the shit all of us go through. Its more of a training given to take up the worst. So, no matter what comes along your way... no matter how hard it is. The PAST is always there to your rescue. I have seen worse... That changes the whole senario.

My def. For PAST- Post Analysis for Steady transition (transition to the better...)

THIS IS WHAT THE ANIME WORLD THINKS OF ME!!!

2005-10-28T20:27:00.000+05:30

Got this from vodka. Cool one!! Well, i guess some of it is true! I would have liked it better if the snap was of a guy.

Your Hidden Power Is Fire

You have a strong and courageou soul. You show
no fear when it comes to protecting the ones
you love. You know when choosing between right
and wrong. You also are quite the rebel.

Gem Stone:Ruby, Eye
Color:Red,Hair Color:Red with Blonde
streaks that is just below your arm pits pulled
back into a pony tail.

Quote:If you're lost I'll keep you warm
and if your low just hold on..cause I will be
your safety.....don't leave home.....

What Is Your True Hidden Power? .::Beautiful Anime Pics::.

Laugh It OUT!!!

2005-10-27T21:10:00.000+05:30

3 sardarjis' were feeling happy in a bath tub!

Suddenly happy felt frustrated and left!!!

500 HITS and MORE!!!

2005-10-22T17:03:00.000+05:30

Hey ppl!!!

My Blog has crossed 500 mark!!! I am so glad. Although I started the site meter way too late but still... 500 in 2 months! Well thats good for me. And I need to thank you guys/gals for it. So.....

THANK Q!!!!!!!

Right now I am being buried alive under a huge heap of books for my dumb internals!! Will post once this shit of exams get over!

Smoking all along!!!

2005-10-13T11:54:00.000+05:30

I heard this song from venks, said it was pretty famous back at IIM L. Well, all it takes you is to listen to this once and you are automatically attracted towards it. Lovely memories and wonderful song. I just had to put this on my blog!!!!

Thanks AC for the lyrics.

Dosthon pe betha, mein sutta pee raha
Pappa ne mujhe sutta peete dekh liya
Ghar jaake pahucha tho mujhe danda ho gaya
Bhenchod sutta, sutta na mila

Bhenchod sutta, sutta na milaBhenchod sutta, sutta na mila
Bhenchod sutta, sutta na milaBhenchod sutta, sutta na mila

College me gaya, mujhe pyaar ho gaya
Usne bhi mujhse mere sutta cheen liya
Sadko pe ghooma, mein tanha reh gaya
Bhenchod sutta, sutta na mila

Bhenchod sutta, sutta na milaBhenchod sutta, sutta na mila
Bhenchod sutta, sutta na milaBhenchod sutta, sutta na mila

Shaadi hui, mein husband ban gaya
Raat bhar thoka, mein thakke gir gaya
Khushiyon ke khaathir, mera sutta cheen gayaaaaa

Bhenchod sutta, sutta na mila

Bhenchod, maachod, bhenchod maachod bhenchod maachod
Bhenchod, maachod, bhenchod maachod bhenchod maachod
Bhenchod, maachod, bhenchod maachod bhenchod maachod
Bhenchod, maachod, bhenchod maachod bhenchod maachod

Bhenchod sutta, sutta na milaBhenchod sutta, sutta na mila
Bhenchod sutta, sutta na milaBhenchod sutta, sutta na mila

Zeest - BC Sutta (thanks venks!!)

VENKS!!

2005-10-03T17:36:00.000+05:30

Venks was here last week end. Had a gr8 time with him. He is one of the very few people who has actually inspired me to do something and whom I respect a lot. Hats off to venks!!

He actually got me thinking again. Whether to go for an MS or an MBA??

Now thats not a easy question to answer and the time is ticking.... Need to come up with an answer pretty fast. Any HELP??

The AUTO RICKSHAW ride!!

2005-09-14T15:29:00.000+05:30

I just had to pen this one down 'cause someday I would look back at this post and have a nice laugh.

I had gone to a "tamil" movie last night. It was certainly the worst I had seen. These Tamil movies don’t strike the right chords with me. I always miss out on the comedy part and have to go around bugging my neighbor for the translation. So, I do have the LAST laugh. Well, I got used to that now.

Anyway, I had gone to see "anbay Arhuday" code name BF. I hope I got the movie name right. Got bored to hell. Moreover it was a night show. We left the hostel by 2100hrs (we are not allowed to go out after 2100hrs) saying we had spent 6 hrs in lab and did not eat a thing. The watchman bought the story. We rushed to the theater after a long chase for buses. Finally, we hit the theater, watch the dumb movie and leave.

The time was 0130hrs. No buses from the theater. We had to catch an auto. The usual bargaining thing started (no meters here!!). I usually leave the bargaining part to my pals 'cause I am no good at it. The rates were outrageous and more over as there were 8 of us we had to catch 2 autos. So... no way.

One point to be noted is when you stay at a hostel no matter where you are from you are always on econo mode. That is when you learn the worth of money. Experiencing situations like total bankruptcy is common.

Well, back to topic. We were bargaining with the auto guy. Out of nowhere, comes an auto guy shouting, "I AM READY!!" (In English!) We did fix up for a relatively cheap cost and all of us got in. Imagine, 8 people in an auto excluding the driver. Two of them in the front, four on the seat and two on top of the speakers (the portion behind the seat!) To add to the agony, the driver was DRUNK!

We were screaming our way through. He kept mocking us and vice versa. The following are the minutes of the excitement!!

Auto Driver: Yeah... Let’s have fun! (Fun?? Probably he thinks my way)

AD: I am a psychologist.
WE: Ya. We heard that one from "chandramukhi".
AD: I treat people! (Try treating yourself for a change)

We then stop over to refuel.

AD: 1 liter petrol to go with.
Comes to us and says: we are going to rock!
Pump supervisor puts on a confused look. We explain him the situation. He is like "what the hell..."
AD takes 50 bucks from us for petrol. Asks an additional 2 bucks and TIPS the supervisor and says "enjoy".

We scream our way through. We contemplate the possibility of reaching the hostel in not more than 2 pieces. We found that it was tough.
AD takes us through a wild ride. I never knew till that night that you could do a "wheelie" in an auto. I don't remember us going on a straight path ever. "Zigzag... S... else slowing down drastically (probably he was trying a “back wheelie"). You name it...he would have done it.

All of a sudden he takes a U turn and says this is a short cut although we knew he was going in the opposite direction. He started shouting that he knows Madurai better than us when we tried to tell him. Finally he realizes that he is on the wrong route and starts hitting himself saying "I am sorry". He even folded his hand and apologized and the auto went bizarre. That was when we thought we had it. But then, he got into his senses and took the reigns again.

On the way, AD started following a cycle rickshaw guy. Both of them were on the same lane.

AD: I have a couple of degrees in psychology. Got it from various universities. (University of drunken Auto drivers!!)

WE: You better overtake that cycle rickshaw guy first and then we will discuss about your degrees.

At this he gets pissed off and zooms past the cycle rickshaw guy and shouts at him. He even put his hand out and I thought he had shown him the "finger".

Then he starts yapping about life. Starts advising about studying and acads... (Like we needed that, for the love of god... doesn't he get the point that we are returning from a night show!!). S and S did great job in keeping his cool as they were sitting beside him (front row!!). The rest of us were having fun behind. I do remember the guys on the speaker (L and K) complaining that they lost the sensation of their feet.

All of a sudden he asks why we were born as guys and not as gals (as if it was our choice... well given the choice... let me think... I would have preferred to be a GUY no matter what!!! I love being a GUY!!) He gives more gyan on that. I remember all of us yawning and L and K started to shout from behind that they couldn't take the torture anymore. That is when we decided to ditch the guy. We found a suitable place to get down and fixed up another auto.

This guy blows his top.

AD: You have hired me and it shall be me who should take you to your destination. (That would probably be HELL... not that I am complaining!)

WE: You have got us half way and we paid for the petrol and I guess we are even.

AD: There is no such crap. Either pay the entire amount or let me drop you.

We, by that time fix up an auto (this guy was sober!) get into it. Only S was talking with him. So, in the filmi style we drive the auto near S, he jumps into it and we are off!

We hit hostel, feel our beds and thank our godmothers for letting us sleep in our own beds rather than in a coffin.

I must have slept instantly, 'cause it’s already Monday and if I don’t hit class on time for first hour, my attendance is gonna be screwed real bad!!

Dreams!!

2005-09-12T18:50:00.000+05:30

I was sitting on the terrace staring at the brightly lit sky. I was trying to think about what was happening to me. Why I am I changing so drastically. Why am I drifting so much from my path(reminded me about theory of RED SHIFT!!). I was trying to analyze the causes and effects. One thing that was thought for a very long time(probably for over 30 sec.... Usually my analysis takes 5-10 sec per point). DREAMS!!

Why do we dream? To feel how tomorrow would be. To make us happy? To make ourselves feel good... All shit. Dreams are waste of time. I used to dream... Once upon a time, but for what use? Imagining about future is how you want the future to be... And future is not so kind enough to give you one just like that. On the contrary, it gives you one which is more or less an opposite of what you thought.

Dreams, are the reason why a lot feel bad 'cause they could not achieve their dreams. If you actually feel bad that you could not achieve your dream (more than 90% of the times you can't achieve your dreams!) they why the hell do you dream?

Some say "Dare to dream" I say "Dare to look at reality!!"

My SIS's wedding( and... me getting screwed!!)

2005-08-30T18:05:00.000+05:30

It’s been long time since I posted something. For once I have a very valid reason. I WAS DEAD DAAM BUSY. My only sis was getting married. And mind you...this is gona be a long one.

God, I started doubting whose marriage it was... my sis was happily chilling out at home and I like a mad man had to zoom through the streets of Hyderabad like a nomad on a hunt for oasis. Never did I have a chance to sit down in a cafe, sipping on a hot cup of irani chai and catching up on things I have missed. As a matter of fact, I did not contact my friends AT ALL.

I hit home base on Aug 15th. Nice day to hit home eh... but then, very contrary to the importance of the day, I LOST my INDIPENDENCE. The first thing I expected my dad to tell me... "Hi. Howz life back at Madurai.” My mom"are you having good food out there. You look like you have been starving for years.” My sis “hey... hows the social life going. Got any jhtkas lately..." Fat chance eh...

I came home after traveling for about 36 hrs. Most of it spent in a bus. I open the door half alive just to hear my dad shout "what took you so long? Freshen up soon; we are leaving to check out the hall and the arrangements." My mom "I need you to come shopping with me. I have to buy a lot of sarees and I need some one to help (read as manual labor)." My sis "I need you to find out a good saloon for john (my bro in law... will come to that shortly) and YOU STINK" There I was, trying to shout aloud "Does anybody understand that I am half alive and I am starving??" But then waste of time... never bothered to ask. I remember not having anything till evening... not even a cup of coffee!!

This marriage has a lot of significance. My sis happens to be the first girl child in my dad's family for like 2 generations. She is also the first grand child in my mom's side. So, I guess you do realize the intensity. To add to this, hers is a LOVE MARRIAGE.

Well most of you would say that love marriages are way better than arranged marriages. I believe that too. But, it is when things like this hit home that it really makes you think twice.

Ours is supposed to an orthodox Brahmin family (supposed to!!). My parents are cool but then relative are always a head ache. My sis goes around marrying a Christian guy, well he happened to be her class mate back at engineering college (the same coll. that I am currently studying). It took us 3 years to come to this junction where she was FINALLY getting married. One thing is for sure... it was very very painful. This pain can only be felt and cannot be shared.

It was a cold winter night (I guess there is something to winter!!) that we all came to know about her love affair with the guy. I, an innocent yet matured 12th grader trying to screw my ass through IIT, remember coming home early (2000 hrs... it was early!!) to chill out as my prof. was down with flu. Never did I expect that that night would indeed turn out to be a very long night. I do agree I had a major hand to play in my dad catching my sis red handed... well I never expected to be of this intensity. But then, it surely turned out to be long enough to screw me the next day cause I had incomplete assignments.

Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months. It was a long journey. Now that I look back, I can see how painful it was. Never was a day that did not have my sis and my mom fighting on some crap and I had to blow my top to cool things down 'cause when I say they better listen. This was getting tough on me. I had important things to put my head into but couldn’t 'cause there were people crying all around. I remember my mom saying "how will I show my face to our relatives. They will question us about bringing her up..." the next moment she says "well, all I want is kavitha (my sis) to be happy. Her happiness is all that matters." My mom is still caught in a war of mixed emotions not knowing what to do or whom to support.

Well, 22nd August was decided the D-day. A registered marriage in the morning ('cause my sis refused to change religion) and a big reception in the evening.

Things were all planned but had no one to execute. So when I popped in... I became the scrape goat. 12 days... no sleep, no proper food, no proper bath, no proper shit (the most painful of all... lots of incomplete downloads). I was of course not alone. My cousin HARISH shared my burden. We did have our own share of fun. It’s not everyday that you end up having garam-garam omelet at 2 in the morning out side kachiguda station, Biryani at 0330hrs at charminar and hit the lounge at taj at 0400 hrs just because you have to receive people at 0600 hrs.

Finally on the D-day... the function rocked. Lots of friends popped in to add to the party. I was kinda feeling bad cause I couldn't spend time with them (busy guy!!) but then I was the BRO!!

The funny part was that, I, was getting all the advises. kanna, dont marry out of your religion. You are the man of your family... so you have to carry on the tradition. I was trying to run away from them but they always managed to keep up with my pace. One of them mentioned raja, I know you have a lot of distractions(read as girlfriends!!). But then before you choose anyone check out their gotram and check if she is iyengar. If she is then you can make her your girlfriend else keep her just as your friend. As if I care. My friends and I had a nice laugh on this. I tried explaining a few mamis and pattis about "love is blind" principle for which I got royally screwed. After that every time somebody walked up to me and said anything about this, all I said was I will marry an iyengar vadagalai (supposed to be my sect!!) ponnu!! This did help me keep a lot of people shut.

After a gala time, my friends and I ended up at the coffee shop at Taj Krishna to celebrate a lot of things along with our sponsorer... My mamu!! After hitting home, everybody got together for a late night chat on the terrace talking crap (papa phoenix, terminal disease, illegal phoenix....) I basically was not interested. I was trying to remember the whole story from the beginning and I was feeling god daam happy that everything got over and my SIS IS FIANLLY MARRIED AND HAPPY!!!!

My transformations!!

2005-08-04T10:04:00.000+05:30

Nail in my head
from my creator,
you gave me life...
SHOW ME HOW TO LIVE!!!

-Audioslave

was listening to this song over and over again. Just reminded me of my life here at M*****i. Still figuring out why I had come over here.... PURPOSE.... FATE (Well I don’t believe in fate!!) What else could it be? Then the bells ring... CURSE!!!

Could this be a curse? With the amount of torture I am undergoing here... It surely sounds like one of them. Or could it be training period...

Never thought of that one before. I am probably getting trained, so that I can face the world well prepared. There is a slogan in the INDIAN ARMY...

the more you sweat it out at the training ground..... The lesser you would bleed in the war!!!

Am I preparing for war...? War against what. When would it begin? Has it already begun... and am I looking for the right time to step in. If so, am I training well? Do I have to undergo more mental torture...

***cell phone rings*** Reality check!! There is no fucking war. It is just that I have been curse to come over here.

"With great powers come great responsibilities!"

Am I being trained too taking up great responsibilities? This caption has always done something in my head every time I read that. My mind keeps saying “that one is for you mate!"

***friend calls..."machan! Let’s hit the canteen. Free period da." And the great devil without any hesitation saves the post as draft and departs to the lovely canteen.***

*** Devil's back!! I just got kicked out of class 'cause I got delayed by 5 min (extra chai at the canteen!!) The worst part is that I got kicked out of a class which most people would bunk. So, "I" drag my ass all the way to the class just have my it kicked out. Back to topic***

I guess I have lost my way in between. Too many questions. I forgot what the hell I was typing. Ya!! I was trying to figure out what was happening to me... training, curse, or just fucked up luck!

Luck, do I believe in that? Nope. Never. Those who give up to luck are irresponsible bastards. Luck takes a lot of names. Most commonly used name is GOD. Not that I do not believe in god, hailing from an orthodox Brahmin family I do respect the values installed in me by default but... there is that nagging question "is there anyone up there who cares for me??"

I don’t know whats happening to me,
I don’t know whats going on...
only thing i know... I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!

Fire ball 1

2005-07-25T18:30:00.000+05:30

Read this from calculus. Instead of putting a link, I thought I would copy the text. Any ya... "Thanks VIKAS for the info".

This is courtesy of Vikas.....

YEAR 1981:
Prince Charles marries Diana
Pope is dead
Liverpool wins the EPL

2005:
Prince Charles marries again.
Pope is dead
Liverpool wins the EPL

The next time, pope is ill and Liverpool has a more than likely chance of winning the EPL, Camila better be on the watch

Spooked!!

2005-07-22T16:23:00.000+05:30

Hope is one which can never be hoped for.

Why does it so happen that when you want something so desperately to happen it never does. And when you actually don’t care about it anymore, it just does.

I was hoping, praying, wishing..... To clear my paper in the revaluation. Although, I knew at the back of my head that it was something not possible (probably 'cause of the place I am) but I hoped it would. The last time I did that was for my IIT results which were 2 years back.

The end results are the same. I did not make it to the IITs nor did I clear the reval.

It was certainly not something I thought would happen. I never expected an arrear in "Analog Communication". I thought I did that pretty well.

Not that I care about the arrear 'cause I feel these are not the right people to judge me and it’s not the first time I had one. The problem here is that it coincides with my Hyderabad plan which I have been planning ever since I landed up in this desert. All the wonderful plans and thoughts just vanish in an instant.

It was indeed a sad evening. Getting blasted in class, finally manage to keep my cool and my friend pops in to give the bad news.

It was a very different feeling. I was pulled into some other dimension. I saw my past life. What I was and what I am. Comparing and contrasting. My mind, blasting with all the expletives known to mankind, pushing me to the edge. Answering all the questions I was afraid to ask, questioning all the questions I dreaded.

I suddenly realized I was getting drenched and my cell was ringing (thanks to the vibrator!!). I hear a voice which was very familiar (I must have been hearing it for the past 14 years of my life!!).

"Yo DUDE!! Whats up? I am having a great time out here. Called up just to burn you up a little." said ARCANE from the other end. Well, he did end up burning me a lot more than he expected to... but that temporarily got me out of the "fucked up" dimension. I told him... you just couldn’t have found a better time to call.

Not for long though. I fell asleep all of a sudden and got sucked back where I left it. Only difference, this was more fearful. Reminded me of Harry Potter. It was like I was in a Pensieve. The difference being that I was not in control. It was a tough ordeal. I got up all sweating and my pillow was wet. I had no idea what was happening.

I could remember every daam thing that happened. Crystal Clear. The positive aspect of this was that it just opened my eyes. It just told me that I was deviating too much (hey... I might deviate so much that I might start following the path usually traveled!)

IS THIS WHAT PEOPLE CALL SELF REALISATION.

Theoretically doing practicals

2005-07-06T18:07:00.000+05:30

Had yet another bad day. Not that I care about 'cause I got used to it. This time it was in the lab.
My prof never understood the logic behind my readings. He was shouting about practicality and was saying my reading were theoretically wrong. Well, theoretically you are allowed 10% error margin but then.... this happens to be my college lab with lots of components used over and over again. So... you just can’t expect 10% error to be possible. I was explaining him about the tolerances and he blew his cork. I end up missing my lunch *sniff* and had to sit thought the afternoon in my classroom with 3 hours of boring instrumentation.

I was all the time thinking. Lots of people don’t consider the practical error margins. People back here lack the practical touch. Everyone perfect theoretically but totally screwed up practically.
Things look fine on paper but not in life. What would happen without the practical knowledge? That gets me back from where I started.... screwed up education system!! More concentration on mugging things than promoting creativity.

Happens in my college too. Doing a project is great. All my friends here keep talking about the projects they are doing. But, how many of them are doing "innovative" projects.... ZILCH!!
Where has all the creative and innovative inspiration gone? Are we stuck just modifying the existing technology?

Reminds me of my history class.... Krishna Mukharjee maam teaching about renaissence way back in Europe in 15th century.

WE NEED ONE RIGHT NOW. Now is when I hope... history repeats itself.

The BLACK KNIGHT!!

2005-07-01T10:56:00.000+05:30

Change is the only thing that is constant!

Keep hearing that all the time. Totally agree with it. Your dearest possession could be lost in matter of hours. Thats what happened to me!! This post is in the memory of my dear bike THE YAMAHA 135.

For those who think she expired...... remove that fucking thought from your head. It is just that i miss her a lot. It was just yesterday that i was crusing on her and now i am all alone.

Continueing from my last post, madurai seems to be a very different place now. Well, i will talk about it later.

I have been with my bike for almost 4 years now. I can still remember the smell of the fresh paint when she came from the showroom. God, i still dream about it in my dreams. She was such a beauty. We sure have spent a lot of time together. Girls usually talk to their teddys about their problems. Well, I talk to my bike and she responds almost immediatly. Everytime i am down she gives me the best rides possible. She never complains even if i rip her at 110 kmph. And there are times when she felt down and i would give her a nice wash to make her happy. We had a wonderful relationship. Over the time we spent together, we started understanding each other very well. Any problem with her, i would know where exactly it is and vice-versa.

There were times when both of us spent time on the tarmac. Those were the days. Experimenting with the wheeli, or probably try out heoric stunts. We used to watch people do it on tv, go on the net and find out how it is done and then try it out. Well, it surely not that easy as it is to read on the net.

We have seen a lot of accidents together. Probably 2 major ones. In one i broke my hand and the other she damaged half her body. But in the end, we both are still doing what we love to do... PUSHING EACH OTHER TO THE LIMITS!!

LOVE YOU!! *snif*

Welcome to the jungle

2005-06-30T22:26:00.000+05:30

Here I am, looking out of my window. The view outside is totally new. But, I do see my college building somewhere. How I wish I had not recognized it.

After 2.5 months of vacation, first day at college can be so tough. On one side meeting all your friends is great but then you do start missing your friends whom you have left 1250 km away.

Well, that is my sad tale as of now.

As I look out from my window,
I smell the fresh air of Madurai,
But something is missing,
The air is fresh but has no energy;
The energy, which the air of Hyderabad gives you.

Something sure is missing. I am not quite sure what exactly it is. But as I have said before, there is no place like Hyderabad, so there is always something missing.

First day was bad. Was busy thinking about the good time I had back home.

All those lovely nights by tank bund.
Roaming the streets of old city at 4 in the morning.
Having biryani at 3 in the morning. The nights were lovely.
Stopping outside HI-TECH city and having chat for hours together.
My terrace, which shares my joys and sorrows.
My room which always makes me feel home.
My BIKE, no words to describe it. I really miss her. YAM 135. I hit 2364 km in 1 month and she didn’t even raise her eyebrow.
Traveling triples with a "FAT" gal and a "FAT" guy sitting behind u.
Ripping at 90kmph in happy state with them.
And, ripping at 120kmph on the YAM, by the necklace road.
The mornings by mehdipatnam.
The visits to NIIT.
All the movies with friends.
Biryani again, this time at cafe BAHAR.
Wonderful lassi to top it off.
Mid-night stops at bharath's house.
Fighting for food at 3 in the morning.
Filling my tummy with TIGER biscuit and water.
Making top ramen at 5 in the morning and eating while watching "friends".
Fighting it out in the arena or on the racetrack with Play Station 2 at 4 in the morning.
Sleeping till 1 in the afternoon.
Having breakfast at 3 in the afternoon.
......
......
......
......
......

Lots more, but it makes me cry when I think of all those lovely moments. They all remain as a memory of all the wonderful times I had.

The Change of tide!!

2005-06-13T03:00:00.000+05:30

Had a pretty interesting Day. I first get late to office and my dad goes red over me. Well, I thought, give a daam to it and continue with the day. Go to office and check out my simulation. I find to my horror that somebody has deleted my simulation. I sit down and for the next hour and a half stick my ass to the chair and do the design again and ya, cursing the person who actually deleted my simulation.

It doesn’t get worse than this. I am screwed in my office and I have all sorts of people shouting at me. At 1830 hrs in the evening, I am one really tired and wired guy ready to do something radical out of frustration. To my horror, the watchman starts screaming at me cause I did not make the entry while going out. I am fuming and just waiting to get out of there. To my rescue, M calls up and says we are meeting at SPARKS at about 1930.

I reach there at 2000 along with arcane. Had one more frustrating traffic jam on the way. I get introduced to a few people. Well at that point, I didn’t give a daam. I was too pissed off to even respond.

And then, I have a pitcher of beer finally arrives. It looks like amrutham ‘cause I haven’t seen any in about 5 months. Have a quick glug and feel the change. The music was bad…. But then who cares. The DJ finally plays some rock. (He starts of with NIRVANA)
I start of a convo with the ppl out there.

For the records, I met the GREAT NON- SENSEI, Sita, Blur, Princess, Sahiti, Neha, M & Arcane of course. In about an hour, it was down to 6 of us. We decided to have dinner at paradise. Amazing biryani. Then we go to NS’s house just to find out that we cannot stay over and settle down at the pavement outside ITC KAKATIYA SHERETON. It took us about 2 hours to decide where to go with everyone calling up ppl they knew. Finally, arcane comes up with a plan. “Desperate times Calls for desperate measures.” So where do we go? My house.

Due to the unavailability of transport, we had to go triples. Me, Sita and Arcane on my poor yam. Arcane comes up with a cranky idea of hitting 100 and I never say no to a challenge of pushing the limits. We hit 90. Me and Arcane happily shouting where as sita shouting out of fear.

Reach home in one piece. Smuggle all 5 to my room without anybody noticing. Get down to some cards and drinks again. I have a whole lot of Vodka again. Something was telling me I inhaled LOT of smoke that night. The packet of 20 was empty. Nice combo of Davidoff, Marlboro and Camel. Went to the overhead tank.

Its supposed to be my favorite place and it has seen a lot of me and it’s the place I usually go when I am lonely. We end up in a conversation about destiny and end result. I inhale a lot more smoke. I must have just inhaled another camel when my tummy said “Warning…. Warning!! System MALFUNCTION!”

I end up stoned, sleeping in my bathroom. Arcane says he took his revenge of 14 years as he belted me really badly. Good for him that I had no pains in the morning. Else he would have been history. I have no idea how the others got out. But, they did. By 0530 hrs, arcane says he packed them off pretty well.

I get up at 0730. Have a mild hangover. Realize that I could not be going for work; I tell my mom I have a headache. Sleep off.

The DEVIL is back!!

2005-06-12T12:25:00.000+05:30

For those who are wondering the sudden disappearance of "the DEVIL", that’s probably because of the busy schedule I had. Had a trip down to Malaysia for about a week. Started my In Plant Training (IPT) right from the next day since I came back to India. Though I was screwed really badly in my IPT, I did manage to come back home before 2000 hrs and leave the house by 2005 hrs. Free bird as usual, I went along meeting the good ol' friends, a night show here and there and then finally knock the door of my home at about 0200 to 0300 hrs. Poor mom opens the door half asleep and asks if I had dinner. I tell her not to worry and go back to sleep. She reminds me that I have to go to work tomorrow. That is when I realize I am probably gona have yet another screwed up night.

I manage to sleep for about 4 hrs. Get up by 0700 hrs. All set to leave by 0800 hrs when my dad's car arrives. My dad is very particular about time especially in the morning and does not like to get delayed to office. And I like a good SON see to it that I am NOT the reason for his delay.

Spend a sleepy morning in the library trying to figure more about MICROWAVES. Have a nap in the library and get caught by my guide who reminds me that this is not my college classroom that I can sleep in. I recover from the shock and finally have my lunch, which makes me even lazier. But I see to it that I am busy simulating my design model so that I am well occupied. Before I know it is 1830 and time to go home.

This was basically my routine for about 2 weeks now. Well its all gona change really soon!!

My great trip--- EPILOGUE

2005-05-13T11:55:00.000+05:30

Some points I realised from my trip.

1. I am one luck guy to be meeting a lot of big wigs.
2. My mom does not like horses.
3. My sis loves shouting, “are bhaiya…. Is ghode ko roko. Ye bahut tez bhag raha hai” every time she is on a horse.
4. Snow is great and everybody should experience it.
5. God knows how our soldiers live at the LOC where it is even colder than this.

My Great trip--- Last Day!

2005-05-13T11:48:00.000+05:30

TRIP END DAYS 6

Started really early. Woke up by 0300. Left for Chandighar. We had to catch the 1400 flight to Delhi. Made it in good time and had about an hour to spare.

Reached Delhi by 1500. Had my flight back to Hyderabad at 1500. Got ourselves checked in.

I thought my trip had come to an end and had seen all I had to but I couldn’t have been more wrong. I was watching the TV where “Wasim bhai” (aka Wasim Akram) was giving a comment saying Ganguly is a good captain (ya rite and I am the president of USA!!!) and then I look around to find “WASIM BHAI” sitting below. This needed no thinking twice. Went up to him, said I am big fan of his (actually I am!!) and said he bowled some of the best balls ever to be bowled in the history of cricket. He was a cool guy wearing a white shirt on blue jeans. He spoke really well. We must have spoke for about 10 min. They had announced the departure of his flight (awe… why does this happen with me!!). I asked if I could have a snap with him, which he kindly obliged. I ran and dragged my sis to take a snap of wasim and me bhai (she never believed that I was talking with wasim bhai). Took a couple of snaps and we bid each other goodbye.

I was in dreamland, thinking about the trip. Just then it started raining heavily in Delhi. God, that was some shower. All the flights got delayed. After a lot of delay I finally got into my flight at 2230hrs. A full 5.5 hrs late.

Reached Hyderabad at 0030 and that marked the end of the trip.

My Great Trip--- Days 4 and 5

2005-05-13T11:40:00.000+05:30

DAY 4

Day 4 saw the trip become serious. Temperature falling really fast. I was at Delhi two days back where it was soaring at 40c and now here I am in manali where the temperature was near 6c. We went to a place call “snow point”. We had to rent an overall, which looks like a space suit minus the helmet in movies like Armageddon. With gloves and stuff, it was as if I was in full gear for a mission. With that thought we neared my destination.

It was finally there. A white colour substance, which is at a temperature of 0c and is very brittle in nature. I saw SNOW (tada….). The feeling was great. Climbed about 4 mountains, thanks to the NCC training and the KAITILAPUR camp. But the only difference is that I climbed rocks and here I am climbing snow. Wow!!! It really was great. After about 4 hours of snow and thanks to the weather which now became really worse (I climbed the mountains when it was pouring like hell!! Not an easy task.) We returned. I was frozen and I could not feel my palms. Putting my hand in a mug of hot water gave very little relief.

Later in the evening we went for shopping.

DAY 5

It started at the right time. I got up at 0900. Got dressed up and ready to go by 1000. Today we were going to a place call “SOLONG VALLEY” to do some serious adventure stuff. I was going to Para glide. But, when I am around it always turns out the other way. We reached the place just to realise that they had closed the Para gliding for the past 2 days due to some bullshit government rule. Later he said skiing is available. I did not think twice. I am going to the top.

The same rule applied here too. You need to rent a horse to go to the top. This time my mom was strictly against going on a horse. So, my sis and I set off. On the way there was some shooting going around. Didn’t bother about that. Went all the way up.

Got strapped to the skis. My first time was not bad. I balanced perfectly but had problem stopping so I had to fall down to stop it. It went along like that and finally I could stop well too. The guy was impressed and said I learnt it really fast. Was skiing for about 3 hrs. On our way back we stopped at the shooting spot, as my sis was really interested in it.

We stopped over. Suddenly, I thought I saw HRITHIK ROASHAN walk past me. I thought I was dreaming. Somebody shouted from the back…. “are vo tho Hrithik hai”. That is when it struck me I was not dreaming. I walked along with him to the set, which were about 500m away. Man, he has great arms. Too good. He also had a good hair do. I took out my cam but the security guy stopped me threatening me that he would snatch the cam. So kept it down. I walked back to same place I met him initially and took out my cam. Thanks to my advance cam (NIKON COOLPIX 4500) I got a shot of him. That was with full zoom. We were ready to go that is when my mouth had dropped again.

PRIYANKA CHOPRA looks sick on screen but right now, I was drooling. She was daam gorgeous. She was wearing a blue ghagra and hey….. She was daaaaaaaaaaam SEXY. Could not get a shot of her. But then seeing them itself is a great thing.

My Great trip--- Days 2 and 3

2005-05-13T11:36:00.000+05:30

Day 2

The day started pretty early. Got up by 0700 and was ready by 0800. Left for Chandhighar by the morning flight. Reached by afternoon. Had a wonderful Punjabi lunch. Went out in the evening to a place call ROCK MUSEUM. Man, the place was great. Mr. Nek Chand, the creator had actually created a museum with things we usually through out. Right from broken tiles to broken electric plugs to broken pots. You name it and it will be there. We later met the created himself. Padma Shree Nek Chand was an ageing man in his early 80s. One look at him and you would know that sitting at one place is something he does not like. A man as active as a teenager in his 80s is not a sight you usually find. His room was the proof. He sure is a collector. He had a broken radio and stuff which people consider trash. Had a small chat with him and said good-bye to him. Had a yet another meal at the SASE (Snow and Avalanche Study Establishment) guesthouse. Good sleep is by default.

DAY 3

One more spoiled morning. Had to get up early and leave. Left for Shimla at 0800. Lots of travel. Reached shimla by evening. Wonderful sceanary on the way. Lovely mountains all along. Reached Shimla by evening. The whole town is put along a single high way. Its like every one lives on the main road. Stayed over for the night. The next day went to KUFRI, which is the highest point in shimla, at about 10,000m above sea level. Went above on a horse.

Whats common between a horse and Bajaj Pulsar?? Both of them are hard on your balls. Rough ride but then had a good time. Got to see a lot of places from the top using a telescope. The places included an apple orchard, Indo china border, the last Indian military point, etc. Went along with my mom and sis. My dad preferred walking his way through as he had a bad back. My mom was shouting all along that she would get down and start walking and was asking “aur kitna dur bhai….. aur kitna time lagega” probably a million times. The name of my horse was “laloo” named after our great railway minister Laloo Prasad Yadav.

The interesting part over here is that I found a “MICROWAVE STATION”. That is probably the highest microwave station.

Left for KULLU directly from there. Reached there by 1500hrs. Stopped for shopping. I bought the trademark Himachal Pradesh Cap.

On the way we stopped over at a place called MANIKARAN. It is a Shiva temple having hot springs. It was daam hot and to make things worse it started raining. It’s a wonderful place. With steam coming from all over. A must visit. It gives the impression of the real Shiva temple in the foot of “kailash parvat”.
We later left for MANALI. Reached there by 2200 hrs. Checked in and slept. The weather was daam cold.

My Great Trip----- Day 1

2005-05-13T11:19:00.000+05:30

PROLOGUE

My trip started off pretty early. With not more than a day to spare, well what the hell, I was already in a vacation mood. Landed in Hyderabad on a hot afternoon on 20th of April. Was as tired as a laboured donkey. But then nobody spares me. I was dragged to shopping along with my mom and sis. One piece of advice, NEVER GO SHOPPING WITH LADIES. Its daam boring and I almost lost my mind. My sis was asking my opinion of what to buy and what not… from a guy who was really tired and desparate for some sleep. Sleep and I don’t go well together. Had a few hours of sleep and off to the airport to catch the 0600 flight to DELHI. The 21st of April shall go down as a one of my big days.

DAY 1- DELHI

The flight took off by 0605. Slept off initially just to be woken up by a gorgeous airhostess who wanted to serve a box of goodies. (There are many more ways she could have served me but then I was with my family!) Landed in Delhi by 0800hrs.Went to the BHRAMOS guest house (thanks to my dad!) had breakfast and was all set for the big meet with Mr. PRESIDENT. We had an appointment for 1400hrs. It was to last for about 10 min. So, got dressed up for the big event and left for the Rastrapathi Bhavan.

We had to report at the main gate at 1345hrs. We were there by 1315. Told the security officer about our appointment and we were given a royal welcome. Cleared about 4 levels of security checks and finally reached the reception. We were directed to a grand room, and severed with some really good snacks. The guy who served us was just as if he came out of a movie from the mughal-e-asam. He looked royal.

The Rastrapathi Bhavan is truly a palace. It has got 360 rooms (I could sleep in new room for an entire year!!!!). I was amazed by the interiors. It’s just like walking into a movie showing a palace. Man…. My mouth was wide open. A red carpet, which leads right to the prez office. Man, I just couldn’t believe it.

Subedar Major Ramakrishna, Head president guard, a well-built guy in his early 40s met us at the waiting room. He enquired if we were carrying any gifts or cams or mobiles. Thanks to the prior info we didn’t carry any of those. He gave a green signal and we were taken to the office. The doors opened and I put my foot into his office.

There he was. Wearing a traditional suit, sitting in a corner of a magnanimous room. God, I thought the RB was great but then the best room is surely the prez study room aka his office. He greeted us with a “ hai buddy!!!” I was amazed just to realise that he was referring to my dad. We sat down. Before we started, he asked us if we wanted some tea, which we gracefully denied. He started off by explaining about his garden (I have no idea why he did that!). I was looking around his office. Found a number of books. Once he finished his explanation, he enquired about me and kavitha (my sis). I told him, I was doing my 2nd year in Thigarajar College of Engineering. He had actually come to my college about 2 months before he became the prez. He remembered that and said it was a nice college with a good campus. All except me had prepared questions, to ask the prez. Kavitha was the first to go. I was meanwhile thinking what to ask him.

Then it hit me as if it were a meteorite. Why not ask about the Indian educational system. There I went all out on the IES (to understand this, it is mandatory to have read my previous two blogs on IES) and the prez for the first time had no answer. I had bowled him out for once. But then this feeling was short-lived. He came back saying that we have to change only the primary system so as to induce creativity. That was end of my turn and my mom took over from me. I was looking through his stuff and found a book on NANOTECHNOLOGY. That’s all I wanted. The next one was from me with a techi question. Was asking him about the nanotechnology. He showed me a pic of a peacock saying that it resembles nano-powder. I went in with the re-buttle, putting out facts about nano-tech. (thanks to my RF-lab in my coll.) Was talking about the fabrication and stuff and he seemed to be very impressed with it.

This is where he asked my name again and what I was doing. He said I better contact IISc for this. He said he would gladly write the reference letter for me. I was on top of the world.

The 10 min appointment went on and I realised that I was there inside for about 45mn. We took a snap with him. Still waiting for the snap. Will post it once I get the pic. We asked him if we could roam around the RB and he gladly approved.

We went around the RB, seeing lots of things. Right from the Durbar hall (place where the PM is installed and other stuff), Ashoka hall (place where they give out the gallantry awards), the museums showing the gifts which delegated from other country have given to the president, the Mughal gardens, etc. Man, it was so daam good.

As always, good things always come to an end really soon. Even this came to an end really fast (we were there for about 3 hrs.).
We later went to the India gate and sorojini market for some shopping. Had fun. Had my dinner in Mc Donald’s and back to the guesthouse. Had to leave for chandhighar the next day.

Bloody EXAMS!!!

2005-04-13T18:34:00.000+05:30

Who the fuck would have devised something like exams. Every fucking year for the past 16 years (two times a year for the past 2 years!!) I sit down, at the max a day before my exams and slog. At the end of the day I clear it off with a decent score! Is this what the education system has become?

The reason for my frustration is my electromagnetics paper. I know its a great subject. It used to be my favorite subject back in 12th and I used to top my coaching classes in EM. But then, fast forward..... Here I am, cursing EM. Two years back I would have never even thought I do this. I would have considered it a sin.... cause I was a big fan of physics. Well actually I still am. Every daam thing in this god daam world has physics. No subject to beat it.

4 exams gone, 2 more to go. No great achievements or disappointments. Waiting for 19th when I would be leaving this "mistake of god" place and make my way to heaven... HYDERABAD. I am truly frustrated living in this place called MADURAI, trying to adjust to all the weird ways for the past 2 years.

Have a great vacation lined up for the summer. Going to have 2 months of vacation, which is the longest vacation, I am going to have in my entire engg. Career. It’s starting with a trip to the north with family. Will be hitting LEH, lots more. Well the highlight of the trip..... Will post that once I have been there!!

Well time to hit the books and screw my balls again. Another break... but this time I would be back soon!

BREAK!!!

2005-03-30T22:34:00.000+05:30

Well, i am on a break right now. Have my sem exams going. Would start posting as soon as my sems get over. Till then.....

Traveling Soldier!

2005-03-09T15:14:00.000+05:30

"I look at my face in the mirror,
I wonder what I see,
I'm just a traveling soldier
I'll be all I can be

But Right now.... I just want to be free
I wanna be all I can be
.........................................

Though they say I am a failure
Do they know who I can be
If you want to know who I am
YOU JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE!!

-traveling soldier

These lines have had so much impact on my life! Heard them first when I was in 9th I guess. Lyrics of the song traveling soldier from the movie thamuddu. A deluge movie, the movie was ok, but the song was the best. Not many Indian songs come with such strong lyrics. Moreover, this song was sung in English. A tradition followed in most of pavan kalyan movies, where songs are sung in more than one language.

This has been the story of my life. Well, not entirely but it surely had played a part. Expectations are one thing you would always want to stay away from. But, expectations are the one which drive you to your goal. Its more or less the motivating factor. It is always good to know that atleast someone thinks you could the right thing for a change.

I have always known there is something inside me thats gona get me to the top. Its my brain, which I am proud of. It acts in a very interesting way sometimes. The time of need, when you have to do something, the crunch time, that I have realized the power of my brain.

I have heard a lot of people say that most of our brain is not used. Only a small portion......blah blah blah. But then, when the time comes, I have felt it. The power of my brain. It so hard to understand the working that it scares me sometimes. Its more like "did I do this?"... "Did I think about this?" I don't have a clue of what happens, but it just happens. My dad happens to be a scientist.... Is it the genes that are showing up? Well I have no idea but the strange behavior surely proves that I am designed and destined to do something big. Its more of that gut feeling that something big is gona happen and I am gona be on top of it. I just know it!!

But, thanks to the fucking Indian Education system, talents are not Appreciated. They just test your memorizing capability. No wonder I don't fit into the system. Where has all the "gaining knowledge" gone? I thought we study to improve are self and know more about the stuff around us. How do we get to know all these things if we waste all our time memorizing things and vomit it off at the examination hall and forget it the instant you leave the hall. Is this the standard of education we are proud of? No wonder people are leaving INDIA and headed to places like US where their talents are respected. And we call it brain drain. Does anybody care for them when they are in India. NO. They get to know about their worth only after they leave the country. And once they have proved their worth in a foreign country which has supported them very well, India calls them back. Why would anybody return? India only wants finished goods, it does not care about nurturing talents.

It is this system which get me on my nerves. Lesser mortals, with no knowledge at all, who are the kings and queens of memorizing score the best marks and show off as if they have conquered Pluto. That is when true talent is questioned. It is definitely not a situation to be in. You know you are better than them, but it is not the right time to strike. As the song goes "if u want to know who I am...... You just have to wait and see."

I, for the reason not known to me, waiting for the right moment. The oracle says to neo in the MATRIX, " I see the signs on your face, but you are waiting for something, maybe a next life." Is this what is happening in my life. Am I also waiting for something? If I am, when would the destined time arrive. How would I know...... Yet another million questions go unanswered!!

When i LOST her!!

2005-03-09T11:54:00.000+05:30

I was searching..... In vain. Looking all around, with my heart pumping as if it had springs underneath. Looked everywhere.... In vain. It was as if the sands of time had stopped flowing or was it my mind thinking faster than the time it self. I was destined to protect her. I failed.

I was suddenly sucked into the past as if it was a vacuum machine. I was reliving my past. I could see my self, taking an oath that I would protect her. An suddenly I was back to the present with a heavy load at the bottom of my tummy. A horrifying thought just passed by mind with paralyzed my body. Will I ever see her again. What will I tell the people who trusted me t protect her. Then my mind went blank.

It took some time to re-boot my mind. It was not willing to be operated again, after such a thing had happened. It took me some time get it back to working stage. Nothing could be achieved by panicking. Thats what I told my mind and the magic worked. My mind was back into action.

I started analyzing the situation. Two process were running. How to find her and what to do if I don't. Though they were running parallel, I had a hunch I will find her. As my mind was still making the assessment of how bad the situation was and what could possibly be the aftermath, I strode into action. Went and asked a Couple of people. Well trying something is better than doing nothing. I found out who else sat in the same place as we did. Luckily, they were a bunch of my seniors who sat as the sameplace after I left. I enquired about their whereabouts and found out that they would be in the seminar hall at about 1450. It was 1300hrs now. I knew I had to wait but my mind would not.

I started thinking how it all happened. I had asked one of my close friend to take care of her and I left for the preparation of my multimedia competitions. This was at 1100hrs. Was sitting at my room giving our presentation a final touch. It was not until 1245 that I saw him. He walked straight into my room. We discussed about the latest additions to our multimedia project. I realized we were missing something. I asked him where she was. The reply froze me. "I thought she was with you!"

I had to attend my mathematics class, I had an attendance lag. But I was somewhere else. That is when the aftermath fell on me. It weight me down I was trying my best not to crumble under pressure and keep my cool. The time was moving slow. The hour passed very slow. Finally it was 1450. The bell rang and I shot out of the class like a bird released from captivity.

I was there. Saw my seniors. Venkat, Santosh and Neeraj. Venkat initially signaled santosh that I was there. They all came out, saw my sorry face. They enquired what happened as if they did not know anything. After listening to my sad story, I expected them to give me a lead. I thought they would help me find her. Life is never fair. They started making fun of me. They were rubbing in the fact that I could not protect her. I was already feeling bad, they were making it worse.

I suddenly realized, they would not do this. They knew how serious the situation was. Although they were know for their "take it light" attitude, they wouldn't do this to me. UNLESS, they knew where she was. I bugged them up and finally started searching santosh. I COULD FEEL HER.... IN HIS POCKET.

I finally found my mobile.

(NOKIA 3200, its my first love. We have a lot of memories together. It single handedly pulled me out of my pitiful fate in madurai by helping me keep in touch with my friends. Guys.... You know that with out you I would have been in the mental hospital by now!!)

The Declaration!!!

2005-02-12T10:05:00.000+05:30

Life can be so complicated sometimes. I was just telling one of my friend "life is a game.... Play it." She asked... Is that why u play so rough. Though I did not take it seriously that time... It came down to me at bed time. As usual, I went into my deep thinking process ( sometimes I think I can make a good spectrum analyzer!!), I was recollecting what she had said. "PLAYING HARD" now that's something I HAVE NOT done. I have been seriously thinking of pushing my life "to the limit." Well something tells me, it high time I did it. I have no idea what made people think I was playing rough with my life (except that I ride the YAMAHA at 110kmph!!) Well... Here it goes... "From here on, I, THE DEVIL, have decided to take my life more seriously and not play around with it. I feel that the time has come to work on my talents and start developing it. It is high time I started pushing my life to 'the limit'." PHEW!!!! Trust me, that wasn't easy. Well I have got through with the documentation part. Its time I start putting it into reality. Now that's something which needs to be worked on, because the history has it, I am a little poor about the implementation of my great plans. But this time I am all the more determined and I know I can do it. Come on guys, I need your support too. Arcane, better comment on this. I will keep you guys updated about the status of the mission. Any sort of tips are welcome folks!!!

The Great Marathon!!!

2005-02-09T20:34:00.000+05:30

"Run, run, run, till you fall dead." That was the key word today morning. "Protect the nature, prevent tsunami" was the caption. It was my college's annual event "THE GREAT MARATHON". It spreads through a distance of 10km. Its starts from my favorite movie theater.... The "maplai vinayagar theater" (the only theater in madurai to show English and Hindi movies!!) all the way to my college ground. The day started of pretty early (considering the fact that I usually get up by 8) when I got up at 0430hrs. I had about a dozen people waking me up right from 0400hrs. My roommate Kumar got so pissed of that even he joined the marathon because he had lost his sleep (I should be made the head of promo). About 850 boys and 300+ non-males (as I call it... cause they don't qualify to be called gals) had turned up. The fact that they were giving free t-shirts had attracted a huge crowd. The non-males were given caps and had just 4km to run. As there were only 400 t-shirts available for taking.... it was given in the order of seniority and it ends up that none of the 2nd years from my department get a t-shirt. (Although Kumar got one... it looked as if he was wearing a kurtha!!! he is a skinny, small guy!!) So he gave his to another of my friend heament... who is quite the opposite. So I started off the marathon at 0630hrs. Did start with some boost and enthusiasm which died down pretty quickly and it was down to business. I tried concentrating hard on my running and apply all the tips learnt from the NCC camp attended in secunderabad. It reminded me of Lt. DESHPANDE who used to train us in physical fitness.... he is on big son of a b****. He used to make it hell for us by making us RUN (not jog) about 7km everyday. Anyway back to marathon, I did manage to keep my cool and ended up a cool 69th(nice number eh!!!) place. But then if only I had not slowed down drastically in the middle segment, I would have bagged a better position. Did check out a lot of my class non-males who were stareing at me cause I was running with shorts (unlike hyd, people don't roam around with shorts here) and was doing a good job by running fast and giving them that "whoosh of wind" as I passed them. It was as if a bike traveling at 200kmph had just passed by!!! Did manage a lot of turn-arounds!!! Completed my run by 0730hrs. I was half dead and my calf muscles were killing me. Came back to the room and was into deep slumber within no time.

Got up in time for the lab. This part is very interesting. " I got humiliated again in lab" but only this time it didn't make a difference to me. I just told the prof "talk to the hand". Will elaborate more on MR. MANSOOR ROOMI, head of image processing lab, and unfortunately my lab in charge. Just because I had pasted a Xerox of a simulation (using PSIPCE) he gave a 20min long lecture, thoroughly humiliating just to receive an "I don't care a daam" look on my face. The day ended by having a nice chat with a group of guys from my class over a hot cup of tea in the canteen.

Topping the charts without studying!!!

2005-02-08T17:17:00.000+05:30

This is my second blog for the day. Khy karon important baat bhul gaya! I had my lab internal yesterday (Mon). There are something’s to be known before I continue. It was Friday when Mr.RM, math prof walked into the class with a sadistic look on his face which I realized later. Just because one of my classmate came a little late (the class was after lunch and you know how it is after lunch) and he gave a huge assignment as home work. It was the same class where he caught me off guard (I was sleeping!!) and asked me questions as he was Siddhartha Basu. I was still trying to make out where was I and even before I my processor could restart he fired like 5 questions and I was staring at him not knowing what to say and what not to say. Got a blasting from him and another added assignment. It turns out that by the end of the day I have tutorials, assignments..... all of them having the same submission date MONDAY. I thought I would complete it on sat but was flat after I came back from NCC and woke up only the next day.

Sunday morning was interesting. I got a call from S saying she and N were going to have combined studies for 2 and 3 units in math and invited me. Initially I had second thoughts but then S's mom added that she was going to prepare something special for lunch. That was it.... Straight in my tummy. I told S that I would be there by 12. Reached at 1230 and the first thing I did was to ask aunty "what’s for lunch?" Sat down to eat the home food which I miss terribly!! All the time in hyd I used to criticize my mom's cooking just to realise its importance now. It felt like "amrutham" especially after being bugged up eating the same bull shit in the hostel mess. "The best way to a man's heart is through his tummy". Did a lot of studies that day. Earned my way into N's kitchen when I proved that I can cut onions like a chef. She was impressed by professional approach. I reach hostel by 2100. And this is where it all starts. I lie by my bed thinking whom to call and remembered that I had to call my BABE in hyd! I realised that I had all the assignments to do only when I was speaking to her. We spoke for like an hour. Then I rushed back to my room.... and sat down with the work. It was 0300 by the time I finished most of it but had a big chunk of math to do. So got up by 0730 next morning (pretty early 4 me) just to realise that I had my LAB INTERNALS today. Got my record and obse out but then did not have time to study.

Reached the lab 10 min late. Was given a program in matlab and had no idea what to do. Looked around. Passed on a paper to my friend sitting behind me asking him to write the manual calculations. Copied it ASAP. Realised that there was some major comp crashing and we had shortages of systems. So patiently waited trying to figure out what i was supposed to do. I was in the second batch. My turn arrived. I was given a comp. Went and sat. To my horror.... my friend did not close his program and he got the same prog. as mine. I thanked my stars. Quickly changed the fine name. Put my own name. Did a little decoration, and tada... I was ready to show my output. I was the first to leave the lab with full honors. My friends were giving me the “you lucky basted" looks and I gave them the "Its all in the game. Everything is fair in love and war" smile. Well thinking about it... I was one daam lucky basted. To be there, knowing that you are going to flunk your lab is quite scary, as we don't get another attempts and this is printed in our mark sheet. Was too happy that day.... But hey, it all adds to your experience warehouse.

NCC zindabad!!!

2005-02-08T16:26:00.000+05:30

On Saturday I had been on one of the trekking expedition, courtesy NCC. This was not a great trek (by great I mean it did not include "cliffhanger" style climbing mountains) but still had a great time. Started At about 8 from the college and reached the "alagar malai" by 9. Started trekking by 0915 hrs. This trek had become usual to me as I had been there last year too. It is a boring climb of about 5 km which includes 3 km in the jungle and the rest on well laid steep roads. The difference this time was that, we usually stop where the normal road ends. There is a temple at the end. This time we went beyond the temple. There was this rumor that there were waterfalls beyond and all of got exited. Although we did see numerous springs I never expected waterfalls. So we were traveling in paths "less traveled". It reminded me of Robert Frost's poem which says “I took the path less traveled, and it made all the difference." Excellent poetic skill... leaves the conclusion to the reader. Anyways, back to the climb. I did get to see some stunning natural scenery, mountains on the backdrop and jungle below. AMRUTHAM FOR THE EYE!!! The roads became steeper and narrower. We were initially going in the formation of 3s, but now we changed to single line formation. By god, it was great and very adventurous. We were walking for about an hour and finally realised that somebody had fooled us and the there were no water falls. If we had followed the same path, we would have been in the next city in an hour. So we returned ALL THE WAY BACK. The most irritating thing is to trace back you way to square one. Reached hostel by 1600hrs and woke up the next day!!

Of attendances and records!

2005-02-04T13:42:00.000+05:30

Life can be so strange sometimes. Here I am sitting in my class with a lag of attendance and my lecturer marks me absent although I am sitting( which is very unusual!) in my class. It all started with the first hour today. I was informed that my attendance had lagged. The minimum attendance to maintain is 80%(god knows who makes these cut offs) which I think is over the head. I still don't get the point behind the attendance. If I am interested in the class I would obviously attend the lecture and vice versa. Its my choice. I thought being an adult I get to make my own choices. But, it turns out that I am referred as a kid no matter which place I go. Why can't colleges be more like the ones in the western countries where the matter taught is given more preference rather than the number of students attending. If students are not attending a particular lecture its a feedback saying that the lecturer sucks!!!! And its high time he started changing the approach. Well back to my case... Prof. SSV had entered the class and did his trademark job... Clean his chair( even if the chair had been sterilized, distilled, purified, refined 100% and kept in an dust proof room he would clean it with his dirty hanky) and started reading out the roll numbers in a monotonous tone. The guy is deaf and couldn't hear my voice (which is actually pretty loud..Thanks to the NCC training). And he marks me absent. He then starts calling out the names of ppl who have an attendance lag. My name is first on the list with 65%. What the hell I thought.... It turns out that I was absent for just 2 classes. The funnier part is that He had taken on 7 classes the entire month. (And he tell me about attendance!!!) I had to just keep my mouth shut and listen to all the crap. After a big lecture( I guess for 5 min...) I sat down with no idea why the fuck I heard to all that. At the end of the class I had to tag along with him all the way to his office ( I am pretty lazy...) to get my self marked present for the class and added to that he again starts his lecture saying " u r not right, I will have to complain to the HOD about u".... As if I care. The day ended with a few unexpected free periods. I had an omelet and a cup of tea..... and made my way to my den ...THE RF LAB.

Fasten ur seat belts and ready for life off!!!!

2005-02-03T20:49:00.000+05:30

Well here is the opening post of the blog!!!! (tada tada tadaaa.....curtains pulling up and a standing ovation) Well the blog of the gr8 one has finally been opened. Well at this particular moment I have no idea what the hell I am gona blog about so bare with me for my random thoughts. Its been a year and a half since I have popped my ass in this place (madurai... a city deep south, in tamil nadu). When I look back now.... about the stuff I have done in my time over here... I get mixed response from my mind. I have gained some... lost some... but then thats how life is all about. Every moment spent teaches u something or the other. The option of learning from it is yours. I would probably speak more about my life over here later. But, it was quite a transition from Hyderabad to madurai. Its something like how SRK must have felt in swadesh. Well good ol' day in hyd!!! can never 4get that. At this junction I would like to thank my close pal.... arcane crapper on whose word I have opened this blog. So crapper "THANKS A LOT MACHI". I guess the time is running out... need to have my bath as i just got my self a hair cut (preparation 4 NCC). I would probably slog for sometime and finally hit the hay.

The first one from the gr8 one!!!

2005-02-03T16:06:00.000+05:30

Yo!!! Finally opened the blog. Thanks to the friends who have introduced me to it. Just checking the waters. Mic testing 123...123.... checking all systems. Preparing for lift off.....