Bloody EXAMS!!!

Who the fuck would have devised something like exams. Every fucking year for the past 16 years (two times a year for the past 2 years!!) I sit down, at the max a day before my exams and slog. At the end of the day I clear it off with a decent score! Is this what the education system has become?

The reason for my frustration is my electromagnetics paper. I know its a great subject. It used to be my favorite subject back in 12th and I used to top my coaching classes in EM. But then, fast forward..... Here I am, cursing EM. Two years back I would have never even thought I do this. I would have considered it a sin.... cause I was a big fan of physics. Well actually I still am. Every daam thing in this god daam world has physics. No subject to beat it.

4 exams gone, 2 more to go. No great achievements or disappointments. Waiting for 19th when I would be leaving this "mistake of god" place and make my way to heaven... HYDERABAD. I am truly frustrated living in this place called MADURAI, trying to adjust to all the weird ways for the past 2 years.

Have a great vacation lined up for the summer. Going to have 2 months of vacation, which is the longest vacation, I am going to have in my entire engg. Career. It’s starting with a trip to the north with family. Will be hitting LEH, lots more. Well the highlight of the trip..... Will post that once I have been there!!

Well time to hit the books and screw my balls again. Another break... but this time I would be back soon!

BREAK!!!

Well, i am on a break right now. Have my sem exams going. Would start posting as soon as my sems get over. Till then.....

Traveling Soldier!

"I look at my face in the mirror,
I wonder what I see,
I'm just a traveling soldier
I'll be all I can be

But Right now.... I just want to be free
I wanna be all I can be
.........................................

Though they say I am a failure
Do they know who I can be
If you want to know who I am
YOU JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE!!

-traveling soldier

These lines have had so much impact on my life! Heard them first when I was in 9th I guess. Lyrics of the song traveling soldier from the movie thamuddu. A deluge movie, the movie was ok, but the song was the best. Not many Indian songs come with such strong lyrics. Moreover, this song was sung in English. A tradition followed in most of pavan kalyan movies, where songs are sung in more than one language.

This has been the story of my life. Well, not entirely but it surely had played a part. Expectations are one thing you would always want to stay away from. But, expectations are the one which drive you to your goal. Its more or less the motivating factor. It is always good to know that atleast someone thinks you could the right thing for a change.

I have always known there is something inside me thats gona get me to the top. Its my brain, which I am proud of. It acts in a very interesting way sometimes. The time of need, when you have to do something, the crunch time, that I have realized the power of my brain.

I have heard a lot of people say that most of our brain is not used. Only a small portion......blah blah blah. But then, when the time comes, I have felt it. The power of my brain. It so hard to understand the working that it scares me sometimes. Its more like "did I do this?"... "Did I think about this?" I don't have a clue of what happens, but it just happens. My dad happens to be a scientist.... Is it the genes that are showing up? Well I have no idea but the strange behavior surely proves that I am designed and destined to do something big. Its more of that gut feeling that something big is gona happen and I am gona be on top of it. I just know it!!

But, thanks to the fucking Indian Education system, talents are not Appreciated. They just test your memorizing capability. No wonder I don't fit into the system. Where has all the "gaining knowledge" gone? I thought we study to improve are self and know more about the stuff around us. How do we get to know all these things if we waste all our time memorizing things and vomit it off at the examination hall and forget it the instant you leave the hall. Is this the standard of education we are proud of? No wonder people are leaving INDIA and headed to places like US where their talents are respected. And we call it brain drain. Does anybody care for them when they are in India. NO. They get to know about their worth only after they leave the country. And once they have proved their worth in a foreign country which has supported them very well, India calls them back. Why would anybody return? India only wants finished goods, it does not care about nurturing talents.

It is this system which get me on my nerves. Lesser mortals, with no knowledge at all, who are the kings and queens of memorizing score the best marks and show off as if they have conquered Pluto. That is when true talent is questioned. It is definitely not a situation to be in. You know you are better than them, but it is not the right time to strike. As the song goes "if u want to know who I am...... You just have to wait and see."

I, for the reason not known to me, waiting for the right moment. The oracle says to neo in the MATRIX, " I see the signs on your face, but you are waiting for something, maybe a next life." Is this what is happening in my life. Am I also waiting for something? If I am, when would the destined time arrive. How would I know...... Yet another million questions go unanswered!!

When i LOST her!!

I was searching..... In vain. Looking all around, with my heart pumping as if it had springs underneath. Looked everywhere.... In vain. It was as if the sands of time had stopped flowing or was it my mind thinking faster than the time it self. I was destined to protect her. I failed.

I was suddenly sucked into the past as if it was a vacuum machine. I was reliving my past. I could see my self, taking an oath that I would protect her. An suddenly I was back to the present with a heavy load at the bottom of my tummy. A horrifying thought just passed by mind with paralyzed my body. Will I ever see her again. What will I tell the people who trusted me t protect her. Then my mind went blank.


It took some time to re-boot my mind. It was not willing to be operated again, after such a thing had happened. It took me some time get it back to working stage. Nothing could be achieved by panicking. Thats what I told my mind and the magic worked. My mind was back into action.

I started analyzing the situation. Two process were running. How to find her and what to do if I don't. Though they were running parallel, I had a hunch I will find her. As my mind was still making the assessment of how bad the situation was and what could possibly be the aftermath, I strode into action. Went and asked a Couple of people. Well trying something is better than doing nothing. I found out who else sat in the same place as we did. Luckily, they were a bunch of my seniors who sat as the sameplace after I left. I enquired about their whereabouts and found out that they would be in the seminar hall at about 1450. It was 1300hrs now. I knew I had to wait but my mind would not.

I started thinking how it all happened. I had asked one of my close friend to take care of her and I left for the preparation of my multimedia competitions. This was at 1100hrs. Was sitting at my room giving our presentation a final touch. It was not until 1245 that I saw him. He walked straight into my room. We discussed about the latest additions to our multimedia project. I realized we were missing something. I asked him where she was. The reply froze me. "I thought she was with you!"

I had to attend my mathematics class, I had an attendance lag. But I was somewhere else. That is when the aftermath fell on me. It weight me down I was trying my best not to crumble under pressure and keep my cool. The time was moving slow. The hour passed very slow. Finally it was 1450. The bell rang and I shot out of the class like a bird released from captivity.

I was there. Saw my seniors. Venkat, Santosh and Neeraj. Venkat initially signaled santosh that I was there. They all came out, saw my sorry face. They enquired what happened as if they did not know anything. After listening to my sad story, I expected them to give me a lead. I thought they would help me find her. Life is never fair. They started making fun of me. They were rubbing in the fact that I could not protect her. I was already feeling bad, they were making it worse.

I suddenly realized, they would not do this. They knew how serious the situation was. Although they were know for their "take it light" attitude, they wouldn't do this to me. UNLESS, they knew where she was. I bugged them up and finally started searching santosh. I COULD FEEL HER.... IN HIS POCKET.

I finally found my mobile.

(NOKIA 3200, its my first love. We have a lot of memories together. It single handedly pulled me out of my pitiful fate in madurai by helping me keep in touch with my friends. Guys.... You know that with out you I would have been in the mental hospital by now!!)

The Declaration!!!

Life can be so complicated sometimes. I was just telling one of my friend "life is a game.... Play it." She asked... Is that why u play so rough. Though I did not take it seriously that time... It came down to me at bed time. As usual, I went into my deep thinking process ( sometimes I think I can make a good spectrum analyzer!!), I was recollecting what she had said. "PLAYING HARD" now that's something I HAVE NOT done. I have been seriously thinking of pushing my life "to the limit." Well something tells me, it high time I did it. I have no idea what made people think I was playing rough with my life (except that I ride the YAMAHA at 110kmph!!) Well... Here it goes... "From here on, I, THE DEVIL, have decided to take my life more seriously and not play around with it. I feel that the time has come to work on my talents and start developing it. It is high time I started pushing my life to 'the limit'." PHEW!!!! Trust me, that wasn't easy. Well I have got through with the documentation part. Its time I start putting it into reality. Now that's something which needs to be worked on, because the history has it, I am a little poor about the implementation of my great plans. But this time I am all the more determined and I know I can do it. Come on guys, I need your support too. Arcane, better comment on this. I will keep you guys updated about the status of the mission. Any sort of tips are welcome folks!!!

The Great Marathon!!!

"Run, run, run, till you fall dead." That was the key word today morning. "Protect the nature, prevent tsunami" was the caption. It was my college's annual event "THE GREAT MARATHON". It spreads through a distance of 10km. Its starts from my favorite movie theater.... The "maplai vinayagar theater" (the only theater in madurai to show English and Hindi movies!!) all the way to my college ground. The day started of pretty early (considering the fact that I usually get up by 8) when I got up at 0430hrs. I had about a dozen people waking me up right from 0400hrs. My roommate Kumar got so pissed of that even he joined the marathon because he had lost his sleep (I should be made the head of promo). About 850 boys and 300+ non-males (as I call it... cause they don't qualify to be called gals) had turned up. The fact that they were giving free t-shirts had attracted a huge crowd. The non-males were given caps and had just 4km to run. As there were only 400 t-shirts available for taking.... it was given in the order of seniority and it ends up that none of the 2nd years from my department get a t-shirt. (Although Kumar got one... it looked as if he was wearing a kurtha!!! he is a skinny, small guy!!) So he gave his to another of my friend heament... who is quite the opposite. So I started off the marathon at 0630hrs. Did start with some boost and enthusiasm which died down pretty quickly and it was down to business. I tried concentrating hard on my running and apply all the tips learnt from the NCC camp attended in secunderabad. It reminded me of Lt. DESHPANDE who used to train us in physical fitness.... he is on big son of a b****. He used to make it hell for us by making us RUN (not jog) about 7km everyday. Anyway back to marathon, I did manage to keep my cool and ended up a cool 69th(nice number eh!!!) place. But then if only I had not slowed down drastically in the middle segment, I would have bagged a better position. Did check out a lot of my class non-males who were stareing at me cause I was running with shorts (unlike hyd, people don't roam around with shorts here) and was doing a good job by running fast and giving them that "whoosh of wind" as I passed them. It was as if a bike traveling at 200kmph had just passed by!!! Did manage a lot of turn-arounds!!! Completed my run by 0730hrs. I was half dead and my calf muscles were killing me. Came back to the room and was into deep slumber within no time.

Got up in time for the lab. This part is very interesting. " I got humiliated again in lab" but only this time it didn't make a difference to me. I just told the prof "talk to the hand". Will elaborate more on MR. MANSOOR ROOMI, head of image processing lab, and unfortunately my lab in charge. Just because I had pasted a Xerox of a simulation (using PSIPCE) he gave a 20min long lecture, thoroughly humiliating just to receive an "I don't care a daam" look on my face. The day ended by having a nice chat with a group of guys from my class over a hot cup of tea in the canteen.

Topping the charts without studying!!!

This is my second blog for the day. Khy karon important baat bhul gaya! I had my lab internal yesterday (Mon). There are something’s to be known before I continue. It was Friday when Mr.RM, math prof walked into the class with a sadistic look on his face which I realized later. Just because one of my classmate came a little late (the class was after lunch and you know how it is after lunch) and he gave a huge assignment as home work. It was the same class where he caught me off guard (I was sleeping!!) and asked me questions as he was Siddhartha Basu. I was still trying to make out where was I and even before I my processor could restart he fired like 5 questions and I was staring at him not knowing what to say and what not to say. Got a blasting from him and another added assignment. It turns out that by the end of the day I have tutorials, assignments..... all of them having the same submission date MONDAY. I thought I would complete it on sat but was flat after I came back from NCC and woke up only the next day.

Sunday morning was interesting. I got a call from S saying she and N were going to have combined studies for 2 and 3 units in math and invited me. Initially I had second thoughts but then S's mom added that she was going to prepare something special for lunch. That was it.... Straight in my tummy. I told S that I would be there by 12. Reached at 1230 and the first thing I did was to ask aunty "what’s for lunch?" Sat down to eat the home food which I miss terribly!! All the time in hyd I used to criticize my mom's cooking just to realise its importance now. It felt like "amrutham" especially after being bugged up eating the same bull shit in the hostel mess. "The best way to a man's heart is through his tummy". Did a lot of studies that day. Earned my way into N's kitchen when I proved that I can cut onions like a chef. She was impressed by professional approach. I reach hostel by 2100. And this is where it all starts. I lie by my bed thinking whom to call and remembered that I had to call my BABE in hyd! I realised that I had all the assignments to do only when I was speaking to her. We spoke for like an hour. Then I rushed back to my room.... and sat down with the work. It was 0300 by the time I finished most of it but had a big chunk of math to do. So got up by 0730 next morning (pretty early 4 me) just to realise that I had my LAB INTERNALS today. Got my record and obse out but then did not have time to study.

Reached the lab 10 min late. Was given a program in matlab and had no idea what to do. Looked around. Passed on a paper to my friend sitting behind me asking him to write the manual calculations. Copied it ASAP. Realised that there was some major comp crashing and we had shortages of systems. So patiently waited trying to figure out what i was supposed to do. I was in the second batch. My turn arrived. I was given a comp. Went and sat. To my horror.... my friend did not close his program and he got the same prog. as mine. I thanked my stars. Quickly changed the fine name. Put my own name. Did a little decoration, and tada... I was ready to show my output. I was the first to leave the lab with full honors. My friends were giving me the “you lucky basted" looks and I gave them the "Its all in the game. Everything is fair in love and war" smile. Well thinking about it... I was one daam lucky basted. To be there, knowing that you are going to flunk your lab is quite scary, as we don't get another attempts and this is printed in our mark sheet. Was too happy that day.... But hey, it all adds to your experience warehouse.

NCC zindabad!!!

On Saturday I had been on one of the trekking expedition, courtesy NCC. This was not a great trek (by great I mean it did not include "cliffhanger" style climbing mountains) but still had a great time. Started At about 8 from the college and reached the "alagar malai" by 9. Started trekking by 0915 hrs. This trek had become usual to me as I had been there last year too. It is a boring climb of about 5 km which includes 3 km in the jungle and the rest on well laid steep roads. The difference this time was that, we usually stop where the normal road ends. There is a temple at the end. This time we went beyond the temple. There was this rumor that there were waterfalls beyond and all of got exited. Although we did see numerous springs I never expected waterfalls. So we were traveling in paths "less traveled". It reminded me of Robert Frost's poem which says “I took the path less traveled, and it made all the difference." Excellent poetic skill... leaves the conclusion to the reader. Anyways, back to the climb. I did get to see some stunning natural scenery, mountains on the backdrop and jungle below. AMRUTHAM FOR THE EYE!!! The roads became steeper and narrower. We were initially going in the formation of 3s, but now we changed to single line formation. By god, it was great and very adventurous. We were walking for about an hour and finally realised that somebody had fooled us and the there were no water falls. If we had followed the same path, we would have been in the next city in an hour. So we returned ALL THE WAY BACK. The most irritating thing is to trace back you way to square one. Reached hostel by 1600hrs and woke up the next day!!

Of attendances and records!

Life can be so strange sometimes. Here I am sitting in my class with a lag of attendance and my lecturer marks me absent although I am sitting( which is very unusual!) in my class. It all started with the first hour today. I was informed that my attendance had lagged. The minimum attendance to maintain is 80%(god knows who makes these cut offs) which I think is over the head. I still don't get the point behind the attendance. If I am interested in the class I would obviously attend the lecture and vice versa. Its my choice. I thought being an adult I get to make my own choices. But, it turns out that I am referred as a kid no matter which place I go. Why can't colleges be more like the ones in the western countries where the matter taught is given more preference rather than the number of students attending. If students are not attending a particular lecture its a feedback saying that the lecturer sucks!!!! And its high time he started changing the approach. Well back to my case... Prof. SSV had entered the class and did his trademark job... Clean his chair( even if the chair had been sterilized, distilled, purified, refined 100% and kept in an dust proof room he would clean it with his dirty hanky) and started reading out the roll numbers in a monotonous tone. The guy is deaf and couldn't hear my voice (which is actually pretty loud..Thanks to the NCC training). And he marks me absent. He then starts calling out the names of ppl who have an attendance lag. My name is first on the list with 65%. What the hell I thought.... It turns out that I was absent for just 2 classes. The funnier part is that He had taken on 7 classes the entire month. (And he tell me about attendance!!!) I had to just keep my mouth shut and listen to all the crap. After a big lecture( I guess for 5 min...) I sat down with no idea why the fuck I heard to all that. At the end of the class I had to tag along with him all the way to his office ( I am pretty lazy...) to get my self marked present for the class and added to that he again starts his lecture saying " u r not right, I will have to complain to the HOD about u".... As if I care. The day ended with a few unexpected free periods. I had an omelet and a cup of tea..... and made my way to my den ...THE RF LAB.

Fasten ur seat belts and ready for life off!!!!

Well here is the opening post of the blog!!!! (tada tada tadaaa.....curtains pulling up and a standing ovation) Well the blog of the gr8 one has finally been opened. Well at this particular moment I have no idea what the hell I am gona blog about so bare with me for my random thoughts. Its been a year and a half since I have popped my ass in this place (madurai... a city deep south, in tamil nadu). When I look back now.... about the stuff I have done in my time over here... I get mixed response from my mind. I have gained some... lost some... but then thats how life is all about. Every moment spent teaches u something or the other. The option of learning from it is yours. I would probably speak more about my life over here later. But, it was quite a transition from Hyderabad to madurai. Its something like how SRK must have felt in swadesh. Well good ol' day in hyd!!! can never 4get that. At this junction I would like to thank my close pal.... arcane crapper on whose word I have opened this blog. So crapper "THANKS A LOT MACHI". I guess the time is running out... need to have my bath as i just got my self a hair cut (preparation 4 NCC). I would probably slog for sometime and finally hit the hay.

The first one from the gr8 one!!!

Yo!!! Finally opened the blog. Thanks to the friends who have introduced me to it. Just checking the waters. Mic testing 123...123.... checking all systems. Preparing for lift off.....