Traveling Soldier!

"I look at my face in the mirror,
I wonder what I see,
I'm just a traveling soldier
I'll be all I can be

But Right now.... I just want to be free
I wanna be all I can be
.........................................

Though they say I am a failure
Do they know who I can be
If you want to know who I am
YOU JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE!!

-traveling soldier

These lines have had so much impact on my life! Heard them first when I was in 9th I guess. Lyrics of the song traveling soldier from the movie thamuddu. A deluge movie, the movie was ok, but the song was the best. Not many Indian songs come with such strong lyrics. Moreover, this song was sung in English. A tradition followed in most of pavan kalyan movies, where songs are sung in more than one language.

This has been the story of my life. Well, not entirely but it surely had played a part. Expectations are one thing you would always want to stay away from. But, expectations are the one which drive you to your goal. Its more or less the motivating factor. It is always good to know that atleast someone thinks you could the right thing for a change.

I have always known there is something inside me thats gona get me to the top. Its my brain, which I am proud of. It acts in a very interesting way sometimes. The time of need, when you have to do something, the crunch time, that I have realized the power of my brain.

I have heard a lot of people say that most of our brain is not used. Only a small portion......blah blah blah. But then, when the time comes, I have felt it. The power of my brain. It so hard to understand the working that it scares me sometimes. Its more like "did I do this?"... "Did I think about this?" I don't have a clue of what happens, but it just happens. My dad happens to be a scientist.... Is it the genes that are showing up? Well I have no idea but the strange behavior surely proves that I am designed and destined to do something big. Its more of that gut feeling that something big is gona happen and I am gona be on top of it. I just know it!!

But, thanks to the fucking Indian Education system, talents are not Appreciated. They just test your memorizing capability. No wonder I don't fit into the system. Where has all the "gaining knowledge" gone? I thought we study to improve are self and know more about the stuff around us. How do we get to know all these things if we waste all our time memorizing things and vomit it off at the examination hall and forget it the instant you leave the hall. Is this the standard of education we are proud of? No wonder people are leaving INDIA and headed to places like US where their talents are respected. And we call it brain drain. Does anybody care for them when they are in India. NO. They get to know about their worth only after they leave the country. And once they have proved their worth in a foreign country which has supported them very well, India calls them back. Why would anybody return? India only wants finished goods, it does not care about nurturing talents.

It is this system which get me on my nerves. Lesser mortals, with no knowledge at all, who are the kings and queens of memorizing score the best marks and show off as if they have conquered Pluto. That is when true talent is questioned. It is definitely not a situation to be in. You know you are better than them, but it is not the right time to strike. As the song goes "if u want to know who I am...... You just have to wait and see."

I, for the reason not known to me, waiting for the right moment. The oracle says to neo in the MATRIX, " I see the signs on your face, but you are waiting for something, maybe a next life." Is this what is happening in my life. Am I also waiting for something? If I am, when would the destined time arrive. How would I know...... Yet another million questions go unanswered!!